Walking the Tightrope: Energy
Sally Codman has discovered a renewable energy source that could save the world.
After ten years of careful research and observation, plus two weeks of school holidays, I have come up with an answer to the World's energy crisis ....BOYS!
Politicians and scientists are constantly warning us that the world's renewable energy resources are running out, our coal reserves are almost gone, countries look set to fight over oil supplies and nuclear power isn't living up to previous expectations.
In a desperate bid to keep up with the endless demand for electricity, generated by new 'must-have' inventions, such as electric eyebrow tweezers or rotating tie racks, all forms of renewable energy are supposedly under investigation.
Despite our totally unpredictable and rain-prone climate, we are being urged to install solar panels on our roofs, wind-turbines on our moors and shores and to leave our cars at home and get on our bikes.
Anyone who has ever stayed too long on the beach and been last back to the hotel for a shower, whose warmth depends on solar panels, will not put too much faith in the first solution. Anyone who has seen the blot on the landscape/seascape created by wind turbines will hesitate to back the wind option.
As for the 'on your bike' advice, some of us are waiting for Tony, Cherie, John (two jags Prescott)and other political leaders, to give it a test run before pumping up our tyres. The other drawback with that advice being that some of us are such a liability on a bike it'd be criminal to let us loose in traffic.
No, as I said at the beginning, I have discovered a source of renewable energy that could save the world ....Boys! After carefully observing the species at very close quarters for the last ten years - one particular example 24/7 - I can confirm that they have enough spare energy to run the planet.
Only Son and most of his friends, like most young boys, have much more energy than they need for the physically undemanding pace of life today. They are driven to school and to friends houses and extra sports lessons have been squashed out of the national curriculum, leaving them with energy to spare. And all too often that energy is wasted getting into mischief.
When Only Son was younger and if anything had even more spare energy than he does today, I was wondering aloud what to do with him. Another Mum, with four incredibly well-behaved sons, revealed the secret of their good behaviour. she regularly 'took them to the park for exercise, like you would a dog' to run the edge off them before expecting them to sit still and quiet for any length of time.
It was a technique I adopted for a while, before discovering the only justification for the invention of 'that game' (football). As far as I'm concerned the only good thing about it is that it helps to run off some of Only Son's and many other boys, spare energy.
Only some, mind you. I expected him to be exhausted after attending a course last week involving four hours of football a day. It worked for a while but after food, sweets, a hot shower and a change of clothes, he still had enough spare energy to go out in the yard and boot the ball around some more.
If scientists could harness the spare energy from all the small, medium and large boys in the world and work out a system for converting it into a useable power-supply - all our troubles would be over.
Of course 'there's the rub' as the old saying goes. It's much easier said than done getting boys of any age to use their spare energy to do anything remotely useful. Suggest they might like to burn some of it off pushing the vac/lawn mower around, washing the car, sweeping the leaves up or washing the windows and they vanish like snow in August.
Suggest to big boys that they might like to use up some spare energy putting up a few shelves, taking a bit of rubbish to the tip, weeding the flower beds or painting the ceiling and they suddenly remember they've got a game of squash, football, Rugby or golf that must be played immediately - or an urgent appointment in the pub.
But hang on a minute - if we could only invent a generator that could be re-charged by remote control whilst the boys are playing sport - it'd be a case of problem solved. Could be we really do need more female inventors!
