Spanish Secrets: Simple Mathematics
It's a funny thing about trees, says Craig Briggs. They always look a lot smaller when you have both feet on the ground than they do when your ladder is extened to its maximum and you are precariously perched on the top rung.
For almost a year now our neighbour, Melie has been subtly dropping hints about the size of two conifer trees either side of the entrance to her drive. Over time the subtlety has waned, so before departing to Lanzarote for a week’s holiday I told her that on our return I would prune them.
It’s a funny thing about trees but for some mysterious reason they always look a lot smaller stood with both feet firmly on the ground, than they do when your ladder is extended to its maximum and one is precariously perched on the top rung, saw in one hand and hanging onto the tree for dear life with the other. True to form these two were no different.
In order to assist in this tree surgery Melie had, at great expense, well almost £5, bought a telescopic branch cutter. Despite its similarity to two aluminium broom handles, a pair of secateurs, and a washing line, they seemed to work quite well, the only minor problem being the trees were approximately 35 feet tall and fully extended the branch cutter was 8 feet long.
I didn’t need to be Einstein to figure out that I was going to have a few problems. Ladder fully extended 15 feet, little old me 5’ 9” and the branch cutter 8 feet, that left me over six feet short? Back to Plan A -- climb the ladders, hang on for dear life and saw the top 10 feet off, making sure to saw above where I’m hanging on.
After about four hours the first of the two trees was starting to take shape, surprisingly enough the shape of a conifer tree. I hadn’t expected it would take this long so I said I would return tomorrow to finish the job, with that Melie invited me to take a coffee and a little liqueur of course, and plenty of home made cakes.
I’ve decided that Melie only has two recipes for cakes, coconut macaroons which despite being a bit on the dry side are at least edible, and frosted donuts, which look delicious but taste like sugared saw dust, not wanting to appear rude I had one of each.
The next day I returned as promised and finished the job, once again taking coffee and cakes, and of course the home made cherry liqueur. Taking everything into account, I’m quite pleased with the result and much more importantly so is Melie.
