Spanish Secrets: Murphy's Law
Looking for your place in the Spanish sun? Read Craig Briggs's absorbing cautionary tale about the misfortunes of Pam and Jeff - then think, very, very deeply.
Having moved here in May 2002 we spent the first three months trying to find our "Place in the Sun". We spent day after day in estate agents’ offices.
It was on one such visit in July that we met Pam and Jeff. They were frantically trying to explain via a combination of broken English spoken in ever increasing volume, and sign language the type of property they were looking for.
Being regular visitors to the agent and having at least some basic Spanish we were immediately roped in to help translate. It turned out that they were looking for a large house or small manor house that they could convert into a small country hotel and restaurant.
Before leaving we gave them our phone number and said to call if we could be of further help.
About a month later and totally out of the blue we had a phone call. It was Jeff. They hadn't been able to find the property they were looking for on their previous visit, but had returned to give it one last go, and on the very last day found their "Place in the Sun".
They returned within a week, bought the house and started work in earnest. Little did any of us realise that Murphy's Law - what can go wrong will go wrong - was to play such a large part in their lives over the next 20 months.
The first thing they did was buy a car. They'd had it less than a week when we had a knock on the door. There stood Jeff, out of breath, with his hands covered in oil.
They had been on their way to see us and the engine had exploded. He'd had to abandoned the car and walk the rest of the way.
Back at their house the only source of hot water was from a small electric water heater but the electrics were so old that everything else in the house had to be turned off to heat the water. Even when heated, there was only enough for a two minute warm shower.
Within days, this didn't matter at all as their well had run dry and they didn't have any water to heat.
When the water finally reappeared they found that they had a slight blockage in the sewerage system causing a "backing up".
On further investigation the waste pipes didn't lead anywhere and there wasn't a septic tank. This was rectified in the short term by allowing the pipe to flow into an open ditch downhill, and thankfully down wind of the house.
Whilst Jeff continued work inside the house Pam spent several weeks clearing the front of the house of weeds, and barrowing tons of gravel all round the house which really did improved the appearance.
Within weeks of completing this work their new septic tank had arrived so the excavation company were called in to dig the holes for the new pipe work and the tank itself.
What had taken Pam weeks of hard work to accomplish was in minutes destroyed by a JCB digging trenches for the new pipe work at the side of the road.
But worse was yet to come. On the final day of excavation, work was halted by a council official. Permission hadn't been gained to dig up the road.
Yet worse was to follow. After waiting weeks for permission, it was refused. All the existing ditches had to be filled in, without a pipe being laid.
New trenches had to be dug through the house, all the floors had to be dug up and new pipes laid.
Could anything else go wrong? Murphy certainly thought so.
Jeff had understood that the septic tank had to be at least seven metres from the centre of the road which ran in front of their house. A huge hole was dug to ensure everything flowed downhill. The tank was laid, the pipe work connected and the evidence buried,. All that remained was a clean bill of health from the council.
The council official arrived, tape measure at hand.
The tank was indeed seven metres from the middle of the road, but not seven metres from the nearest edge of the road as was required. A small misunderstanding by Jeff, but one which led to them having to dig the tank up and reposition it.
Throughout all their trials and tribulations they have managed to remain enthusiastic when others may well have slit their throats. And on Thursday, 8 April, 2004, some 20 months after embarking on this adventure, they finally opened the restaurant.
And they remain optimistic of one day realising their whole dream by opening the hotel as well.
