Walking the Tightrope: Frozen Spinach
You struggle out of the door at 8.15 am to do a double school run when Middle Daughter suddenly demands spinach. Sally Codman thinks about getting a magician-style pointy hat to help her perform the magical tricks required of a Super Mum.
It was the frozen spinach that pushed me over the edge.
No, not eating it, but a last-minute demand at 8.15am, as I struggled out of the door to do a double school run before work, that I should magically produce this product in time for Middle Daughter's food technology class.
Yes, I know things like frozen spinach are easily obtained from larger supermarkets - but a larger supermarket trip wasn't something I'd scheduled into my busy day.
The big supermarket shop had been completed earlier in the week and the plan was to get by over the next few days using our local shops - not renowned for stocking frozen spinach.
We completed number one school run about the time I finished my lecture on how I'd appreciate advanced warning and a comprehensive list of ingredients, a few days before they were needed. Not to mention how we'd all appreciate some meals returning home that we'd like to eat, rather than admire from a safe distance.
When your kids are small its great to be considered an all-powerful 'do-anything' sort of Super Mum. By the time they're teenagers you'd think they'd have realised you're not a magician who can conjure anything at a moments notice.
Maybe taking them to the latest Harry Potter film was a mistake. (N.B. consider getting a magician-style pointy hat with stars to wear occasionally when these requests come along, to make my point visually instead of verbally)
In the past I've been asked to conjure fancy dress outfits or fairy wings with minutes to spare. Now I'm expected to produce cakes, the odd £100 for field trips, guitar books only obtainable from specialist music shops etc. at the drop of a hat and be in two places at once with Mum's taxi.
Like most devoted Mums I usually pull out all the stops and rise to the occasion.
Although I can't sew fancy-dress outfits, I'm a dab hand with glue, sticky tape, hastily-purchased items from charity shops and wire coat hangers (for fairy wings of course - twist the centres of a pair together and cover with tissue paper and stick-on-stars. Or you can cover with net curtains for a great pair of angel wings - remember that - it'll soon be Nativity Play season).
Yes, most of the time us parents work a kind of magic to sort things for our kids, after all we're genetically programmed to be Mr and Mrs Fixit for them when they're young. However there comes a time when they've got to realise that we too have busy lives and sometimes we just have to say 'no.'
It was a combination of pressures which meant the 11th hour 'frozen spinach' request was the last straw and resulted in my losing it and delivering my 'advanced warning required' lecture in my 'volcano erupting' voice rather than my 'calm, reasonable teacher' voice.
Unfortunately, as many of you will know, the trouble with the 'VOLCANO ERUPTING' tone is that it tends to set off a volley of follow-up explosions from whoever you're addressing, be it kids or grown-ups. Tempers rise, doors slam, objects break and cross words fuel the flames of chaos.
In the calm after the school run I reflected that Mr Kipling - no, not the exceedingly good cakes guy, the poet guy - makes an exceeding good point in the opening line of 'IF' (supposedly the Nation's favourite poem).
If memory serves it goes something like this;- "If you can keep your head, when all around are losing theirs and blaming it on you" .... wise advice in any circumstances.
I bet Henry VIIIth's wives wished Rudyard had been Henry's Poet Laureate.
I take a moment to review the times I've lost my temper. There was the time I kicked the front door when it wouldn't open and put my foot through it... the time ....
Suffice to say that in my younger days I had an even shorter fuse, but fortunately no kids. I blame it on my Scottish ancestors on my father's side.
On further reflection I resolve to take Mr Kipling's advice in future (both Mr Kiplings) to eat more cakes and to keep my head whilst doing this - despite the strong possibility in our house that 'all about will be losing theirs', because if its not frozen spinach its bound to be something else.
COPYRIGHT SALLY CODMAN 2004 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
