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Fast Fiction: Partners In Crime

When he looked through the peephole there were three of them at the door, dark-suited, looming, threatening... Richard Mallinson's story reveals the grim consequence of crime.

I looked out through the peephole of my rented flat and there they were, the three of them, dark-suited, looming, threatening.

They shouted to be let in or they’d break the door down. I opened the door and they came in and pushed me aside.

They ransacked the place, all because of the missing money.

Yes, I’d had it - at least until a few weeks ago when it had gone, along with Greta, my partner in crime.

Now they asked me where it was. I said I didn’t know. They asked again, louder, fiercer. Again I said I didn’t know.

‘What can I say to convince you?’ I asked.

‘Drop the bullshit,’ said the one with the lined face.

‘Or we’ll drop you,’ said the big-eared one.

‘Look,’ I said, ‘if I had it I would certainly hand it over.’

‘Lah-di-bloody-dah,’ the third one (plump, hairless) said. ‘You can tell he used to be a vicar, can’t you?’

‘And a very good one, too,’ I said, under my breath.

‘Now,’ said the big-eared one, producing a machete, ‘the time has come for some real action, not like your vicarage tea parties.’

‘There’s no need to be sarcastic,’ I said.

‘There’s no need to be sarcastic,’ he mimicked. ‘Did you hear that? He thinks he’s still in the bloody pulpit, wearing his -’

He chopped savagely at my collar bone and I cried out in pain.

Horrible, sickening pain.

Well, I’d been warned what to expect from this particular (or not so particular) crime squad but it still came as a shock.

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