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Poetry Pleases: Fifty Things To Do Before I Die

"I've never done hang gliding, I've no desire to soar,'' confesses Catherine Devine in this cheerful poem.

I’ve never done hang gliding,
I’ve no desire to soar.
The channel is too far to swim
And it’s been done before.

I hear Nepal’s a long way off;
I think it could be cold.
I’ll leave it to the young ‘uns
Because I’m not so bold.

I could dye my hair purple,
Put a gold pin through my nose,
But I would lose my dignity
At my age I suppose.

An airline pilot then
It might be worthwhile trying.
But perhaps not such a good idea;
I really don’t like flying.

To play the Stock Exchange perhaps,
Maybe to make some money,
Sell jewellery on the Côte d’Azure;
At least it would be sunny.

I think I’ll hedge my options.
‘Too late ¾ too late,’ the cry.
The most that I could manage:
To see Naples ¾ and die!

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