Poetry Pleases: Summer Holidays?
Glen Taylor's vigorous poem suggests that if the noisy kids don't get you while you're on holiday, a stingray might!
I've been on my summer holidays,
A camping by the sea.
Right beside a sandy beach,
My one man tent and me.
I found a lovely camp site,
With kitchens, oh so clean,
Hot warm showers, flowing fast,
And big washing machine.
Nice green grass and tall fresh trees
And clothes hung out, upon the breeze.
We settled in, my tent and me,
Just as cosy as could be.
But I forgot the date would be
School holidays, and kids love sea,
Here they come in campervans, caravans
And marquee stands.
A great big van pulls next to me,
About three feet 'twixt him and me.
Whoops, over goes my primus stove
As by my tent a football drove.
The sea is packed with drowning kids,
Kayaks, surf boards, plastic lids,
Water polo everywhere,
Snorkels, yachts and babies bare.
Yes, here they are, just miles of sites,
Barbecues, balls, babies trikes,
Screaming mothers, running wild,
Chasing up that wayward child.
The shower's full of sand and grime.
The kitchen's crowded all the time.
The water's cold, the drains are blocked
And someone's pinched my best sun frock.
Still, kids come here to have some fun,
I tell myself, and then I run,
As rugby tackle heads my way
And frisby flies an inch away.
It's getting dark, they soon will sleep,
But sleep on holidays will keep,
While they rush round on mountain bikes,
Their dads drink beer and smoke their pipes.
And mums on holiday you see,
As they cook up another tea,
Then bath the baby, wash the pots
And scream at older kids a lot.
Dad's met the blokes and found the pub,
"You don't mind, mum, if I go off,
I won't be long, just long enough
For you to clean up all this stuff."
And so my little tent and I
Are taken over by the cry
Of babies who won't go to sleep
And kids who scream and laugh and squeak.
At last, they all just disappear,
They'll all head back again next year.
A happy dad, a weary mum,
When school goes back, her rest will come.
As they drive their vans away,
Just me and my pup tent do stay.
The shower's clean, the water's hot,
The rubbish gone, the grass is cut.
The sun is warm, the sky is blue,
And I just wonder what I'll do.
I'll go and swim out in the bay.
OH HECK, here comes a damn stingray!
