Poetry Pleases: Tracy's Wedding
Ellen Warner's slice-of-life poem is one of the funniest you will read this week - or any week. Move over, Pam Ayres!
Well today’s the day Our Tracy gets wed.
I know there’ll be smiles but some tears’ll be shed,
And the cash we splashed out for the white limousine
Will be money well spent, ‘cos she’ll look like a queen
As she steps from the car all virginal pure.
Oh there’ll be snide remarks from his side, I’m sure.
They’re not up to much, his lot, as you’ll know.
Hope his uncle stays sober till after the show.
They say he gets quite aggressive when he’s ‘ad a few.
Let him upset young Tracy ‘an I’ll break ‘im in two!
When I saw her this morning I could ‘ave just cried,
Remembering the chances she’s pushed to one side.
But she’d have her own way, she’s that stubborn, our lass.
You’d ‘a thought she’d ‘a waited for somebody wi’ brass.
There was ‘im from pork butchers we invited for tea,
Though he did look like one of his pigs, I agree.
But we’ll wish ‘em both well as we toast bride and groom.
Then we’ll keep to our own side o’ t’ room.
Though we won’t see his lot much after today.
Next time’ll be christening. But that’s not till May.
