American Pie: Of Mice And Men (with apologies to John Steinbeck)
Gene research may one day improve the endurance of marathon runners, says John Merchant - but imagine its effect on an already hyperactive Siamese cat!
I have never run a marathon, or wanted to. But I’ve done enough, non-competitive running to be able to imagine what it takes, both mentally and physically. A potential marathoner needs to have an optimum physique and be dedicated to a training schedule and diet. But without great mental strength and the ability to put mind over matter, winning in world-class competition is impossible.
Of all athletes, marathon runners are the easiest to identify with, even to someone as unconcerned with sports as me. After all, their arenas are the streets and highways where we live.
Aside from attending an actual event, we are likely to encounter marathoners-in-training any day of the week, summer and winter, rain or shine. When misfortune befalls them, everyone feels their pain, and what must be overwhelming disappointment when all the training and dedication fails to produce its just reward.
Two recent examples are the English marathoner, Paula Radcliffe, and the Brazillian, Vanderlie de Lima in the recent Olympics. Although de Lima went on to finish third, it seemed that he had a sure shot at the gold until he was attacked by a spectator. One can only imagine the psychological impact.
Gene research on mice at the Salk Institute in California may well eliminate such disappointments in the future, when applied to humans. It may also open up this demanding sport to you and me, and to anyone who is a closet marathoner.
The recently announced, gene engineering success, has produced what are being called “marathon mice!” The mice have twice the endurance of their natural counterparts and can run twice the distance on a treadmill without fatigue. The modified gene mimics the effects of exercise and creates fatigue resistant muscles. Even, so called, “couch potato” mice were able to perform like pros with the help of the modified gene.
This could be great news for marathoners, but imagine the other possibilities. No longer will commuters have to worry about traffic congestion, missing the train or having parking problems when they arrive at work. They’ll simply slip into sneaks and a jogging suit and be at work in a trice, eager to face the day’s challenges, and hardly able to wait for the 30 mile run home.
Forget to pick up bread after work? No problem, just trot around to that great bakery on the other side of town.
Fancy a trip to the beach this weekend? We’ll run over for the afternoon! Taking a “run in the country” will have a whole new meaning, pollution will be reduced and dependency on oil eliminated.
The down side of this scientific wonder is the that family mouser will have to get used to having sand kicked in his face by these fast, long distance running rodents, just like in the cartoons. Unless of course a modified cat gene becomes available. But anyone who has owned a Siamese will shudder at the prospect of their gene- altered pet having one of those “funny turns” that Siamese are given to. It’s a daunting prospect to imagine all that frenetic tearing around the house and up and down the curtains lasting twice as long as usual, and at double the velocity.
John can be contacted at wordworks@hvc.rr.com
