Smallville: South Of The Border
So what do you turn to when your extensive supply of Mexican green tea chocolate (yes, really, Mexican green tea!) finally runs out? Read Peter Farrell's revelation - and chuckle line by line.
"Yoghurt...what's that?" This was in the late 1950’s and having heard of villagers in Bulgaria still alive after 110 years, I decided to give it a try; along with brewers’ yeast, wheatgerm and black molasses which seemed to be their staple diet; and now with only about 60 years to go, I could be onto something.
Since arriving in Norfolk my wife and I have patronised the health food stall at the local market; Margaret stocks up with cereals, nuts and dried fruit while I scavenge among the exotica; Peruvian olive oil, Norfolk country wine, Cumbrian energy bars; all usually approaching their 'sell by' - or as I read it - ‘best before‘ date.
"Oi Guv“ try this." One particular morning our friend the stallholder showed me his latest line; "Chocolate 75p, three for £2."
The Chocolate bars came in three flavours, orange, hazelnut and of all things Mexican green tea. Well, my experience of Mexico was gleaned from the travels of D H Lawrence, seeing ‘Viva Zapata’ and listening to Herb Alpert and although I couldn’t recollect D H writing, Zapata fighting, or Herb’s band singing about chocolate I chose one of each flavour.
"Not bad, eh?" This was much later in the day when the Ferrero Rochers should have been coming out; but even though it was fat-free, sugar-free and with nothing added, Margaret was not convinced. As she put it "... and no chocolate added either."
However as far as I was concerned the fact that it was organic, made by local peasants in the South Americas and only cost, well, something divided by three, made it irresistible and, with a preference for the hazelnut, I made it a part of my regular diet.
Weeks went by until the supplies of hazelnut dried up followed a few weeks later by the orange, "...that's it Guv‘, can't get any more."
Luckily supplies of the Mexican green tea variety seemed endless, "No wonder, not only does it look like soap..." Margaret still couldn’t see the benefits. Alright, it was green and it was an acquired taste; but who ever heard of nutritional and tasty? Burgers and Fries? Pizzas? Fried eggs, sausage and bacon? I rest my case.
"How much more of this are you buying?" She didn't understand that the supply could dry up at any time. After all we had seen the health food stall in neighbouring Fakenham on a Thursday, Swaffham market was every Saturday and what about Cromer and Kings Lynn?
“Well, I can get a box of twelve now for £5 and he's saving me one every week,” and I rearranged the kitchen cabinet, moving my stock near the back; Margaret being much smaller than myself.
Visiting friends were urged to try it; but most declined, which suited me as at a recent check-up at the Well-man clinic my blood pressure was deemed "Perfect," nothing wrong with my weight and I swear my hair was getting darker. The stockpile would stand me in good stead for the foreseeable future.
The inevitable happened one particular week when I was offered two boxes for £5, now half price. "Tell you what, next week you can have the rest for nothing, I can't go on carting this all over the County.’’ Apparently more room was needed in the van to move other lines of healthy and nutritious merchandise.
"He sees you coming." Margaret was not impressed by any chocolate now, free or otherwise, and the following week, as she went to thebBakery - after arranging to meet me back at the car - I called to collect my chocolate.
"Two cases?" She was rendered speechless. I'd had difficulty carrying the Mexican green tea chocolate to the car park,. The weight alone must have been -well two times...twelve ...and eight times...something, but I managed it.
"For free. I think there's eight boxes in each." I had an extra 188 bars of chocolate to add to the stockpile. It should last well over the next two years. From then on, no picnic, coach trip, holiday, day out or evening class was complete without the statuary supply and sometimes "...better take double for emergencies, you know, trapped in snow."
Time passed and sad to say the chocolate supply has now dried up; although recently "Oi Guv‘, seen this?"
The box of Wheaty bars was not only organic, and on special offer, but Australian.
"Strewth Blue, I'll take two!
