Poetry Pleases: Nursery Nativity
Nothing captures the spirit of Christmas more accurately than a nativity play performed by nursery children. And no one has captured in words the essence of a nursery nativity more wonderfully than Joyce Worsfold.
Right now everyone
I’d like you to go to the toilet before we begin
Don’t rush, it’s not a race, no one will win
Oh dear Darren, that’s a big sigh
Yes, I know that you don’t want to go
Just try
Wayne! Of course you want to be a king
Now, go to the toilet, then we’ll have a nice sing!
Heather, stop shouting, there’s no need for that noise
Well yes, I know that girls are different from boys
(Dear me, they learn something new every day
You can’t beat nursery education for showing the way).
Now come along everyone take your places
Angels! Stand up, stop pulling faces
Darren, I’m sorry but the kings did wear dresses
No Richard there aren’t any princesses.
Yes, I know you want to be Princess Leah
But you’ll have to wait for another time,
We can’t fit her in here.
Shepherds stop messing with the angels
No, I know angels don’t nip
Now Paul, pick Karen up, I know she didn’t trip
Sarah stop swinging your halo and making that silly whoop
What do you think it is, a hoola-hoop?
Now where were we?
Ah yes…
Mary and Joseph were travelling to Bethlehem to be taxed
Mary was tired because she was going to have…
Joseph, stop picking your nose
And Mary, please don’t lift up your clothes!
Yes they’re very nice knickers and Granny is kind
Now walk nicely to Bethlehem and see what you find.
When they got to Bethlehem
There was no room for them at the inn, so…
No! Joseph knock on the door
not on the inn-keeper’s head
now look what you’re doing or I’ll have Daniel instead!
In that same country there were some shepherds
Sitting in the field looking after their…
Oh Damian! Couldn’t you wait?
Now that poor lamb is ever so wet
(and so are all the other shepherds, I’ll bet}
Miss B can you find this shepherd some clean pants please!
Phew! I don’t know about you but I’m on my knees.
Now in a far country there were three kings
Who saw a bright star shining in the…
No, I said star, not Star Wars
We don’t need Darth Vadar, or Santa Claus.
Ahem…The Kings road on camels
One hump or two?
I really don’t know dear,
Of course it’s all true.
Please walk nice and slowly… that’s right
No! David, we’re all friends at nursery, we don’t bite.
Now kneel and give your frankincense
No, not in the manger
Haven’t you any sense?
Mary what are you doing?
Don’t thump Jesus like that!
Oh you’re getting his wind up.
Well try a nice little pat.
Yes well, you all look very nice
And why am I worried
We only do it twice
Your mums dads and grannies will love whatever you do
And come to think about it, I quite like it too…
I must be mad.
