Open Writing

‘Aren’t these Sydney shops wonderful? Yes, I know, this is not your scene, let’s have the morning to ourselves, we’ll each enjoy our own interests and then meet again here at say, 12.30 for lunch?’

‘That’s a great idea, hardware and camera shops here I come while you surround yourself in female goodies to your hearts content.’

We waved each other off in opposite directions.

‘Don’t break the bank,’ he called.

‘You either,’ I laughed.

Yippee! Now I can see if my exciting idea will work. Off I went to the nearest chemist's shop and approached a junior assistant who was dusting shelves.

‘Excuse me, do you have anything for smoothing out wrinkles under my eyes? I seem to have a few!’

She looked at me and said, ‘You do, don’t you! I think I’d better hand you over to our beauty consultant.’

‘Why do I get the impression I’m too far gone for you to handle?’

‘Oh no, it’s just that Miss Shaw is our make up consultant, she will give you specialised treatment, come with me please... Miss Shaw, this lady is wanting something to remove wrinkles under her eyes.’

‘Good morning,’ said a rather austere woman. I found her attitude a bit off-putting for this newly out-on-the-loose suburban New Zealander. Nothing daunted, I smiled in a somewhat nervous fashion as Miss Shaw studied me then asked me to sit down on a chair in the perfumes and lotions section.

‘Well now, do you want long term treatment which takes about two months, or an immediate result which could be a daily routine?’

‘It must be immediate. I want to impress my husband at lunch-time today.’

‘Very well then,’ answered Miss Shaw unbending a little. ‘Look at these brochures, they are before-and-after pictures, now let us get started.’

‘How amazing! These pictures are incredible, I do hope I get similar results. Does this treatment take very long to work?’

‘No, not many minutes, I’ll pat this cream on lightly under your eyes and shortly you will feel the skin start to tighten.’

It wasn’t long before there was an unusual feeling developing.

‘Oh! How exiting I can feel things happening.’

I was given a mirror.

‘Now what do you think of that?’ asked Miss Shaw.

‘Good gracious! My wrinkles have gone. I love it! I’ll buy it! What a magical cream this is. I’m sure I’m younger looking too.’

The junior assistant came to the counter to wrap a parcel. She asked me how it was going.

‘Surely you would be the best judge of that,’ I said.

‘Wow!’ She said, ‘It’s taken ten years off your life. Talk about before and after!’

I suppose I should be grateful for her modern style of appraisal, I thought.

‘I’m sure my husband’s going to be impressed with my new found youthfulness. How long did you say it would last, Miss Shaw?’

‘For about six to eight hours unless you wet it.’

‘I can hardly wait to meet him and there’s still an hour to go! I’ll just have to pass the time around the shops. Thank you so much I really feel like a new woman.’

Miss Shaw by this time seemed to be quite human, friendly and full of smiles.

A man came in. Wonder of wonders, I knew him. He was a friend of ours, who with his wife and family, had shifted to Australia to live a few months earlier. He looked at me, grinned and called his wife, Yvonne, to come and take a look at me.

‘My! What’s happened to you? You’ve had a face-lift or something and lost all your wrinkles,’ he remarked.

I couldn’t want for anything better. That was all the response I needed!

Yvonne came in and gave me a hug. She told Malcolm off for being so rude then said, ‘But seriously, what have you done? He’s right you know.’

I excitedly relayed my story and thanked them profusely for their encouraging remarks.

I went to the main counter, which was right beside the entrance to pay for my transformation.

‘Fancy our friends coming in while I was here, what a surprise! Your staff probably heard their complimentary remarks also.’ I smiled at the rest of the staff who all seemed to be enjoying my New Look episode.

All this admiration made me feel like a model, no less. As I turned to float out the door, a man came bursting in and knocked me flying! I swung around trying to grab something but missed and fell, hitting my nose on the edge of the counter. Pandemonium set in. My nose bled. Everyone rushed to help as I tried not to cry. Not for the pain mind you, but for my New Look which I knew was ruined.

The man helped me up. The girls brought cold compresses for my face with sad, sympathetic looks. As for the poor man, he was devastated, and so apologetic, asking what he could do to help.

‘Just put the clock back if you can, so this never happened,’ I cried.

They took me out the back for a lie down with more cold packs. After a time, one of the staff offered to go and find my husband.

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘He will be waiting at the corner just up the road. He’s not a big man, he has a bald head and his trousers are brown.’

She returned saying no one of that description was there.

‘Are you sure?’ I asked. ‘He’s not usually late.’ This time I went with her. I looked and felt a real sight with my swollen nose, red face and eyes.

He was at the corner, anxiously looking for me.

I stopped dead in my tracks, gasped and burst into tears, he was sporting a toupeé and a marvellous New Look!