Fast Fiction: Sex In The Jungle
Two elderly literary gents and their young wives are chatting in a pub. Two sleek estate agents at the bar are eyeing up the wives. Where is this leading? Richard Mallinson's short story is as sexy as the conversation.
The two elderly literary gents and their wives were at a corner table in their local pub as usual. The men were drinking beer and the women sherry.
The women, who were much younger than their husbands, were being eyed up by two sleek estate agents at the bar.
The first literary man (from left to right) was telling a story about sex in the jungle and when it (the story) came to an end the others were clearly pleased.
It had been a long story, without much of a punchline. It certainly wasn’t up to the standard of the one about the hunter and -
‘I prefer the naked woman story,’ said one of the wives.
‘Eh? What did you say?’ asked the first literary man. There was no reply.
Then the second literary man began to talk about his latest book. With Kipling in Sussex, and soon the others began to cough and fidget.
The first literary man said, ‘Please, please, Rupert, let’s not talk shop, eh?’ The women nodded vigorously.
Rupert didn’t mind. He was just as happy staying quiet as talking. He sipped his beer contentedly for a while, then glanced up at the two estate agents.
‘I think those two chaps over there are looking for some action,’ he said.
The others stared at the men at the bar, then quickly looked away. There was a long silence, broken only by a giggle from one of the wives.
‘Well,’ said the first literary man at last, puffing out his crimson cheeks, ‘they bloody well won’t find any action here, will they, eh?’
There was another long silence.
Then, ‘I wouldn’t be too sure about that, if I were you,’ said the wife who had giggled, sitting up straight and patting her hair.
‘Just look at her, isn’t she something?’ said one of the two estate agents, not knowing what to do next.
‘They both are,’ said the other, helplessly.
