Here's Alison: For Sale By Tender
When Alison Ross saw an advert announcing that 140 nightsoil cans wre for sale she was moved - if that's the right word for this occasion - to write the following verse.
I’d like to "spend a Penny"
And tender, for a can.
But to solve the Council's problem,
Would take a Mighty Man
The like we do not have in our little town... Waihi,
But Rob Muldoon might use them
For his "Think Big" Policy!
Or failing that the Borough,
For the Festival each year,
Could use them for the litter,
Keep our streets all nice and clear!
Or perhaps the County Councilors,
Of the "20 thousand dollar " prank,
Could present each Ratepayer at the beach,
With a mini water tank!
Perhaps, the garlic growers might, use them awfully well,
Special Waihi Garlic, with a special Waihi smell!
Or the mine, might find a use,
Or the Skills Employment maids
Or Chantel might convert them,
To Mother Earth Lampshades.
Brown and Brown might market,
A gardening push-a-long,
But whatever they are used for,
They’ll tender for a song!
There’s really many uses
But if the Council needs the funds,
They should sell them up in Auckland,
For their Round the Bays runs.
Now if tenders aren’t forthcoming,
And they do not sell at all,
I could still suggest a use,
That would please the ratepayers all.
With rate demands excessive,
Wouldn’t it be nice
If the Councilors put their heads in,
Three times, and out, but twice!
