Fast Fiction: Trader
Richard Mallinson tells the story of Trader, who is cheered and applauded by women when he rides through the village.
Grint went in his van over the hill to meet Trader Browne who would sell him cut-price goods for the village store.
Trader was at the roadside with wooden boxes, suitcases, bits of furniture, bottles, jars, plastic bags, tins and cans.
'You can ave the lot fer a fiver,' he said.
Grint stacked the items in the back of his van (a tight fit) and was about to get behind the wheel when Trader said, 'Don't I know yer wife?'
'No,' said Grint, 'I shouldn't think so.’
At that moment the local bobby came up on his bike, which he propped against the side of Grint's van.
'Now what's going on?' he said.
The other two stared at him.
'Don't I know yer mother?' said Trader.
'No, I shouldn't think so,' said the bobby.
*
Next day, when Trader rode in to the village on his old horse, Grint's wife and the bobby's mother were among the women who came out to wave.
Trader stopped outside a house, tied the horse to a lamppost and went to the door, which opened instantly.
The women glimpsed the shy young wife who lived there.
'She's wearing next to nothing,' said Grint's wife.
'She's a lucky girl,' said the bobby's mother.
Half an hour later Trader emerged from the house, mounted his horse and rode back up the street.
The women clapped and cheered.
*
Cycling home, after looking for miscreants over the hill, the bobby wondered what sort of day his shy young wife had had.
