Here's Alison: Joseph Mutton - Missing Person
Alison Ross's cautionary poem suggests that a fellah should never be judged by his name.
I know, what has happened,
To Joseph Mutton, who vanished like the breeze,
The Government has sent him on Trade mission overseas.
With name like that, though sounding rather crude,
He’s just the right ambassador, to sell our Kiwi Food.
It all was done in secret, and as they waved goodbye to Joe,
They said ‘When he succeeds, we'll let newspapers know!
Think of next election, what grand publicity,
Alas alas for such a fate, it just was not to be!
For when ship came to port, in Cherry–blossom land,
A sweet young Japanese girl took Joe by the hand.
"My name is Joseph Mutton; I come from land N.Z.''
And those alas, were the only words that Joseph Mutton said!
"Real Kiwi Mutton?' 'she squealed with much delight,
"I take you home to supper, the fire's all a-light!''
And far away that summer's day, in land called Old Japan,
A Kiwi Mutton found himself, in Japanese frying pan!
Poor Joe was cut to pieces, and cooked into a stew,
With Kiwi Mutton in Japan, ‘Is-only-thing–to-do!’
Back in Old New Zealand, the Government keep so quiet,
While Japanese say ‘N.Z. mutton, velly good, you try it?’
And N.Z. radio all asking has anyone seen Joe?
And everyone is looking; they don’t know where he go!
The Government is hoping, no one find out what they do,
Think what awful headlines, "Joe Mutton in Jap Stew''
So if your name is Mutton, do not venture from N.Z.
Or you land up like Joe Mutton, Velly Velly Dead!
