Fast Fiction: State Of The Nation
'What do you know about poverty, hardship, joblessness, domestic violence, child abuse, sick and lonely old people, sexism, racism, ageism, homelessness, the break-up of families…’’ Is the narrator in Richard Mallinson’s story really clueless about the state of the nation?
I was waiting for the others to arrive when Ted said belligerently, 'What do you know about the lives of ordinary people?'
'Probably not as much as I ought to,' I conceded.
Too bloody true,' he said. 'Night after night you stand here with your cronies pontificating about the state of the nation but you haven't a clue, have you?'
'If you say so,' I replied, ruffled.
Then he began to rant...
'What do you know about poverty, hardship, joblessness, domestic violence, child abuse, sick and lonely old people, sexism, racism, ageism, homelessness, the break-up of families
I held up my hand to try to stop the flow but he simply went on, 'Stressed-out workers, people desperately in debt, drug addicts, alcoholics, the mentally ill, the disabled, the forlorn and the unloved?'
Well, I didn't do anything foolish. I didn't even lose my temper. I merely gave him a look and said, 'Calm down and pull me another pint.'
And how do you think he responded? He had the gall to say, There's nothing in the script about pulling you another pint, you prat.'
And I said, 'Don't talk to me about the script, I wrote the bloody thing.'
'Cut,' said Seth, the director.
*
During a break one day, Teresa, who played Molly, asked me why Molly never got any love scenes.
There's nobody suitable for her,' I replied. 'We don't want her being made love to by any old yob - or any young yob, for that matter.'
Silence.
'Molly's purpose,' I went on, 'is to bring a bit of class to this underclass, if you see what I mean. We don't want her wasting herself on a wastrel, do we?'
'Jesus,' she said after a while, 'you really are a prat, aren't you?'
