Open Writing

Do you watch those 1940s films with a feeling of longing for times past, nurturing deep envy? Do you squirm when watching those anti-smoking campaigns on the television? (It was bad enough when John Cleese lectured you, causing you to suffer from an outsized conscience.)

Yes? Well, chances are that you are one of today’s social outcasts - a smoker. Or do you now have that cloak of self-righteousness, having quit the habit.

Those of us who have enjoyed many a cigarette were always aware that smoking was not good for us and if we developed a cough, we rarely entertained the idea of visiting the doctor for a cure in today’s claim-compensation-for-everything world, there are foolhardy people who are attempting to sue the tobacco companies for choices they themselves had made. This hardly endears them to the non-smoking public. After all, smokers knew what they were doing when they took up the habit.

We all know that there are lots of illnesses and conditions which are caused or exacerbated by smoking. I fear, however, that the experts have gone over the top as they re-enacted the “Wolf-Wolf” story. Bronchitis, cancer of the lungs and throat - yes, we can accept that these are smoking-related illnesses, but does every conceivable disease have to be linked to smoking. To all successive governments, who amass millions from the outcasts, I would urge: don’t make smoking the cause of every mishap in life.

Today it is fashionable to blame everything on smoking. Some time ago a case of a missing girl was highlighted in the press. It was revealed that she had played truant - and gone to the shop to buy cigarettes. Well, there you are. Smoking can turn you into a runaway, leaving you vulnerable to abduction.

Perhaps a little honesty would be of the greatest help to those who wish to kick the habit. Preaching does not work: you have to make your own decisions. Apart from the obvious benefits of improved health and elevation from the rank of outcast, what else can the ex-smoker expect to look forward to? Well they can hold their heads up high wherever they are, as they pity those puffing away in a restaurant or even outdoors. And what about the jobs that are advertised for non-smokers only. The Lonely Hearts columns abound with ads from those seeking someone who not only can give TLC, but also someone who is a NS. Yippee!

No more for you the sneaked cigarette in the kitchen/garden/cellar/attic when anti-smoking visitors or those with small children visit your home. Oh, the joy of all this freedom at last - and think of the money you’ll be saving.

But wait a minute. This is all getting a bit too one-sided. Let’s be honest and present the full picture. The anti-smoking brigade would have us believe that we can enjoy the taste of our food so much more when we stop our filthy habit. Many would disagree. It is also said that any gain in weight is minimal and is soon lost. Again, this can be disputed.

Some time ago, a medical doctor was bold enough to state on the radio that smoking appeared to guard against Parkinson ’s disease. That was kept quiet, wasn’t it?

It was reassuring to see high-ranking Jane Tennison in “Prime Suspect” enjoying a cigarette, thus endowing the habit with some measure of respectability. However, we have all become conditioned into associating all that is bad. After all, it is easy to spot the criminals/sluts/loosely-moralled/lower class individuals when we watch television - they are the ones seen smoking. And do you remember Peter Cook in a re-run of a television interview screened a few years ago? I’m sure you watched in horror as you saw him light up, even is you are a smoker. Yes, you’ve been conditioned.

When the press reported some years ago that Camilla Parker-Bowles had been spotted having ‘a crafty drag’, I thought, she had finally blown her chances of being accepted by the British public

As countless members of the armed forces experienced, many of us have felt that there was an extra dimension to friendships when we shared in the enjoyment of a cigarette. If I never smoke again, I will forever remember the pleasure derived from smoking, and far from being offended by the smell of the smoke, I like it. Some people may be appalled by this. Maybe, but it’s honest.

If the government and all the medical experts were to be completely honest about smoking, perhaps there would be a greater response to exhortations to abandon the habit.

Oh, for an announcement from some source on high, to the effect that smoking not only does you no harm, but is actually good for you, coupled with a special budget from the Chancellor cutting tobacco tax to nil. Yes, yes, I know - this is only a pipe dream.

Good luck with your resolutions.