Open Features: Tall Tale
Jack Frost tells a jolly tale of a voyage aboard a giant whale called Doby Mick.
While swimming in the ocean at Atlantic City I was swallowed up by a giant whale, whose name happened to be “Doby Mick.” I was terribly frightened at first but after a few hours we became fast friends. He then introduced me to his other captives as we swam around the world. They showed me their living quarters and said I would soon be issued the same, if not better.
After getting adjusted to the enormity of the whale’s interior, “Doby Mick” said he would like to show me my living space. It consisted of living room, dining room and kitchen in the spacious bowels of the whale. By the way, there was also a den. I asked “Doby Mick” if I could put a fish bowl on the table in the den. He replied, “No need to. Just open the blinds and you will see all the fish you can stand.”
I said, “All this is fine but where do I sleep?” He said, “This is not a ‘ranch house’ with rooms all on one floor. You have three bedrooms and three baths. Oops, I mean water closets. You have to go top-side via this waterfall within a tube to get to your sleeping quarters.” Doby said to be sure to push the button that says ‘Up Flow,’ and it will take me in a swirl to your mate’s boudoir." Be sure not to press the ‘belly button’ button or you will have an onslaught of belly dancers in the mate’s boudoir, and I don’t think you wife would like that.”
After awhile the weather report came over the radio saying that New York City was having a terrible drought. “Doby Mick” called us all together and said, “We are going to leave this beautiful South Sea Pacific area and go to New York and see what we can do to help with the drought.”
As we entered the mouth of the Hudson River, going past the Statue of Liberty, “Doby Mick” called on all of his orca friends in the Atlantic Ocean to come and help on this momentous occasion. As the pod of whales led by “Doby Mick” passed by Manhattan and the Bronx, they all simultaneously blew water from their blow holes, causing a shower of water to fall over the entire city, the likes of which has never been witnessed before or since.
There was such joy over this abundant “rainfall” that adults danced in the streets and children played in the puddles.
Needless to say, that all had a Whale of a Good Time.
