Open Writing

A year after Angie left me for Don I went to their flat and banged on the door.

'What do you want?' Don shouted.

'I want to see Angie.'

'Sod off.'

Then I heard Angie say, 'Who is it?'

'You know who.'

'Oh,' she said, 'let's see what he wants.'

Angie opened the door and looked straight into my eyes and I put my arms out as if to embrace her.

This caused Don to pull her away and knife me in the shoulder. (He pleaded self-defence at his trial and got off with a suspended sentence.)

A year later Angie came to see me and asked if I would take her back.

'I'll take your front as well,' I quipped.

'Oh for God's sake,' she said, 'that's why I left you in the first place.'

'What d'you mean?'

'Because you were always trying to be funny - it really got on my wick.'

'If only.'

There you go again - can't you ever be serious?'

'Well, then,' I said, trying to be serious, 'why do you want to leave Don?'

'Because he never lightens up - no quips or jokes, no humour at all.'

I laughed. 'That's funny,' I said but she wouldn't see it.

*
Somebody was banging on the door of our flat. 'What do you want?' I shouted. 'I want to see Angie.' 'Sod off.'

Then Angie said, 'Who is it?'

‘You know who.’