Open Features: Archibald Hunnybun
Don Hickman tells another Isle of Wight tale, this one about Archibald Hunnybun - the Bald Bun - who decided to change his name.
Archibald Hunnybun was not at all happy with his name. In fact, he absolutely hated it. Now Hunnybun is a good old Isle of Wight name, going back to the times before the Conqueror so his relatives could not see what all the fuss was about and one of them unkindly called out “Your stuck with it Bald Bun, so keep your hair on.” Well this made Archie even more determined to do something about it.
After much thought and a few words on the next Sunday with the vicar, Archie was determined to change his name by depoll or even by Deed Poll like the vicar said. He though about it all Monday night and the next day went down to Ryde Town Hall to change his name. The clerk of the Borough met him on the town hall steps, and after being informed of his needs the clerk says, “Depoll, you mean Deed Poll like the vicar says it. We don’t do Deed Poll here you’ll have to go to County hall at Newport for that.”
It was too late to catch the carrier for Newport that day and anyhow he was due to go to Newport market the next Tuesday and sell a pig. He would just have to put up with the name for one more week.
Early the next Tuesday Archie started the walk into Newport market with the pig in tow. He arrived after most of the other pigs had been sold. He had a drink, and then he was off to the County hall in order to change his name. He came back and had another drink. The fellah that looked after the Deed Poll Certificates was out buying a Pig! “Do you know its Market Day they asked? Come back on Friday that’s Name Change Day.” Archie went home. Most of the names that he called the pig on the way couldn’t be repeated, and after all, it wasn’t the pig's fault, but Archie had so wanted to get rid of that name.
Friday arrived and Archibald Hunnybun sat with the driver in the carrier's van. When he came back, he would be a new man with a new name. At Newport, he went immediately to the Deed Poll Office. In no time, he was in and out of County hall, having filled all the forms, paid the bill, and collected the Deed Poll Certificate.
Back at the carrier's van they asked what his new name was and what they should call him.
“The name on the certificate is, Richard Hunnybun. But you can call me, Dick.”
