Here Comes Treble: Women - difficult? Never!
"Husbands, when your peace is shattered by your wife, now in her late forties or early fifties, bursting into tears, throwing tantrums, opening a window on a freezing winter day or shivering and snuggling up in the middle of a sweltering summer night – be patient and understanding. Physically she is uncomfortable. Emotionally, she is facing her own mortality.''
Women of all ages will nod in agreement when they read Isabel Bradley's words. Men should read and digest what she has to say - then resolve not to be difficult.
“Why are women so difficult?”
A menopausal woman may answer, “Because we can be!”
The question started me musing. Am I ever ‘difficult’? If so, why? In what way? …
Well, there are those times when someone inadvertently taps into one of my deep-seated insecurities:
‘You eat too much cheese,’ translates into, ‘You’re fat, ugly and unattractive.’ That could make me sulk for a week.”
The hormonal cycles that rule a woman often make life difficult.
Through the pain and discomfort associated with her menstrual cycle, a young woman is expected to continue as if everything were normal. In spite of waking up with PMS, feeling the entire world is against her, she has to work, interact with others, be sweet and wonderful to her man, run the household and care for snotty-nosed brats who won’t appreciate their mother until they have children of their own. She is expected to maintain a serene outlook and even temper. No wonder that from time to time, women can be “difficult”.
It is a joy to see that many younger couples share work, household chores and raising children, easing the pressure on both men and women.
Unfortunately, there are still some sexist men who swear that every month women ought to be shut away from the rest of humanity for a few days until they can “behave”.
I can hear every woman in the world growling “Learn to live with it!”
Hormone changes cause unexpected tears, or draw forth that angry stranger who erupts within a woman’s bosom. At “that time of the month”; when she’s pregnant or has recently given birth; or when she enters what used to be called “the change”, a woman is inclined to over-react, perhaps, even, to be “difficult”. It is true, however, that if a woman over-reacts there is usually something to which she is entitled to react. Such outbursts surprise the woman as much as those around her. I can remember listening to myself ranting, and wondering, “Who said that? Where did it all come from? Surely that wasn’t me?”
A new girlfriend is liable to feel threatened by her man displaying a photograph of him cuddling his landlady’s daughter. No matter how platonic that old relationship was, or how long ago it ended, the continued presence of such a photograph will sooner or later cause the new lady-love to be “difficult”.
Husbands, when your peace is shattered by your wife, now in her late forties or early fifties, bursting into tears, throwing tantrums, opening a window on a freezing winter day or shivering and snuggling up in the middle of a sweltering summer night – be patient and understanding. Physically she is uncomfortable. Emotionally, she is facing her own mortality.
Our western way of life teaches a woman that much of her value to society lies in her ability to produce children. Her children are now adults, and have left home. Regardless of the fact that she doesn’t want to have any more children, she’s distraught that her body is now incapable of producing any. To add to her confusion, her parents are aging, and she now has to act as a “parent” to them.
She has become convinced, by men’s comments and through magazines, television and movies, that a woman is only appreciated because of her attractive appearance. The wrinkles in her face rumple the peaches-and-cream complexion on which she was so often complimented when she was younger. Her glossy hair remains that way only through the dedication of her stylist and colour-specialist. In spite of adjusting her daily eating habits until she’s near-starving and exercising daily until the perspiration pours from her, her waistline thickens, and cellulite changes the surface of her once-smooth thighs into something that looks like hail-damage. She hates her reflection in the mirror, and would rather her husband didn’t see her without clothes on.
Old insecurities surface. “How can anyone love a body that looks like this?" she wonders. “I’m useless; I’m not needed any longer…”
After years of experiencing the joys and grief that Life presents every day, a woman becomes wise. She is able to teach a new generation how to minimise the effects of hormone changes; to persuade lovers and husbands to share everyday work; to learn how to enjoy life; to accept people for who they are.
Best of all, a wise woman can teach a young girl how to deal with a situation when, believe it or not, her man is being difficult!
But – that’s another story…
Until next week – “here comes Treble!”
By Isabel Bradley Copyright Reserved ©
