Fast Fiction: Along Those Lines
Why should a man walk along a pier and throw a book into the sea? Richard Mallinson’s story explains.
I was there when a man walked along the seafront carrying a book. He went on the pier and threw the book into the sea. He watched it float and sink. Then he walked back and sat on a bench.
I went and sat by him and asked him why he'd thrown the book into the sea. He seemed to be too upset to speak.
Then I asked him if there was anything I could do to help.
'Please do not fuss,' he said in a French accent, 'I am a doctor.'
A minute or so later he calmly told me that he'd bought the book, a novel, in good faith for holiday reading. He'd been halfway through it when he realised it was based on a true story - his own and his late wife's.
'Of course the names and settings had been changed,' he said, 'but, make no mistake, it was definitely about me and my wife, my late wife, that is, and a sorry picture it painted of her, I'm afraid.'
Still... he was glad that he'd made some sort of protest by dumping 'the wretched book' in the sea ... even if those who saw him do it must have thought him 'a bit of a loony'.
He lit a cigarette and inhaled mightily.
'Aren't doctors supposed to set a good example?' I murmured.
'Please, please,' he said, 'I am not in the mood for any lectures.'
I stayed quiet, watching the evening sun lower itself into the sea. There were still holidaymakers around but even the children were quiet by now.
When I asked the man if he could tell me the title of the book he looked puzzled and slightly irritated.
He flicked his unfinished cigarette away, followed it, stamped on it and came back. But he didn't sit down.
'Do you know,' he said, 'I have forgotten the title. The best I can say is that it wasn't Madame Bovary . .. but perhaps something along those lines.'
I stood up and faced him. 'Are you sure?' I asked, fatuously.
