Letter From America: Yo Ho Ho
...It was not until I was clearing away the detritus of the meal that I read on the Yule Log carton that the cake was enriched with cherry brandy...
Ronnie Bray reveals that alcohol can come sneaking into the most resolute teetotal life.
Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest—
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest—
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
—Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island
At the first taste, I was intrigued. When I read the label, I was certain. It was déjà vu all over again. Life can and does deliver the same surprise to the unwary, and I was as unwary the second time as I was the first time it happened, although I should have learned my lesson then.
The first time was at a British Isles single adult conference that Norma and I had organised in Huddersfield. We organised one each year for ten years, and enjoyed our associations with the single adults.
The second occasion was at an High Priest’s group Italian Evening Farewell for the Stan and Florence Bartles as they set off on their mission, and also to officially say ‘Farewell’ to two other couples who left our area a little time ago.
One year while searching for a suitable and affordable dessert for singles conference held in the merry month of May, I was offered lots of Christmas Chocolate Yule logs at a knock-down price. I snapped them up. They were so cheap and so large that each one was cut into three huge pieces for a serving. After the sumptuous banquet meal, the dessert was welcome and refreshing.
As the diners chomped their way delicately through the out-of-seasonal confection their moods lightened. The regional representative who with his wife was guest of honour, grew visibly red in the face and even jollier than he already was. Others seemed increasingly unrestrained as the time drew near for the Grand Ball.
It was not until I was clearing away the detritus of the meal that I read on the Yule Log carton that the cake was enriched with cherry brandy. There would not be a lot of liqueur in the afters, but when dispensed to people who never used alcohol at all, it could be lethal. As it was no one died, but all enjoyed themselves in merry ways.
I kept the source of the good spirits a secret – until now when it is too late to do anything about it but smile. And that’s why when I tasted the ice cream at the Italian Evening, I was struck with the sensation that it had all happened before! I read the label. The pistachios and chocolate nougats were harmless enough, but the rum in the stuff not only accounted for a lifting of humour but also for the ripples of bonhomie that shot through our group. As before, I kept my secret, mostly.
We who are to be as wise as serpents but as harmless as doves sometimes forget the instruction and are dovish in our wisdom. That does not mean that when we are, we are then as harmful as snakes, it just means that our essential humanity has been reconfirmed and as no harm – great or small – has been done, we are subject to immediate and complete forgiveness, and also have one more story to tell in coming years.
Copyright © 2006 Ronnie Bray
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
