Peter asked us to talk this week
On the good things about getting old.
First a look back to when we were kids
And we had to do as we were told!
If you wanted to go out in high heels,
Wear make-up and outrageous clothes,
Your mum would look at you with scorn and say,
“You’re not going out in those!”
But as you get older and wiser,
You now know what you thought you knew then.
Your teenage longing for boys
Has developed for full-blooded men!
So you marry and life is idyllic.
The years hurry by and you find
Very quickly you’re suddenly ageing;
Your forehead is terribly lined.
As well as the lines on your forehead,
Other things have now shrunk and drooped.
And after two hours of housework
You find that you’re totally pooped!
The stairs are a bit of a problem,
You’ve got quite a pain in your hip,
And the creeping pain of arthritis
Is giving your fingers gyp!
So you’re old now. What are the benefits?
Let’s take them in one by one:
You’re free of the burden of children;
You’re now free to go and have fun!
You don’t have to pay for prescriptions,
So your painkillers come for free.
You can now have candlelit dinners
Instead of afternoon tea.
You don’t have to get up in the morning;
You lie there all cosy – and then:
Oh! I’ve got to get up ‘cause it’s Wednesday.
I’ve to go to Remember When!
No mortgage hung round your shoulders;
The house now belongs to you.
You can spend all your hard-earned pension
On whatever you want to do!
You can go on your yearly vacation
At any old time of the year.
You can drink as much wine as you like
Instead of a half pint of beer.
Then when it comes to December,
Because you’re now very old,
You get 200 pounds from the council
To make sure you don’t die of cold!
If you’re stuck with the process of ageing
With a dreadful pain in your knee,
You can get a disabled sticker
And pack in the car park for free!
And another added bonus
When you’re as old as us –
If you’re lucky, a much younger person
Will give you their seat on the bus!
So we’re old now (some older than others)
And in spite of the wrinkles and pain,
I’m content as a senior citizen.
I don’t want to be sixteen again!