Fast Fiction: Deftly Does It
Tod Deftly the radio continuity announcer once said 'Next we have the mews.’ Richard Mallinson’s story reveals, among other things, the nickname which was prompted by this slip of the tongue.
Tod Deftly works as a continuity announcer on the radio and, like most of that breed, he tends to stumble over his words from time to time.
'Been sitting there for hours doing nothing,' listeners snort, 'and then he can't even get a simple sentence right.'
Once he'd said, 'Next we have the mews' - which earned him a nickname, though he didn't know it.
Anyway .. . Tod is in a hotel bed with a female called Alicia, who has a crush on Claire Dimple, one of Tod's colleagues.
'I love to hear her voice,' Alicia says as Tod rolls off her, 'it is like music. Is she beautiful?'
Tod, who isn't disposed to be kind about a woman who's rebuffed him, merely grunts, 'Fairly average'.
'Oh, I don't believe you,' says Alicia. 'I know in my bones she is beautiful.'
'You have very fine bones,' he says, hoping to change the subject.
*
'You will not believe this,' says Alicia the next time Tod rolls off her, 'I am going out for a drink with Claire Dimple. I wrote to her and she wrote back and now it's all fixed for tonight, when she comes off duty.'
'And did she send a photograph of herself?' asks Tod. 'She usually does.'
'Oh yes, and she looks so beautiful.'
'And did you say in your letter that you knew me?'
'Oh yes, but without giving the sex details - such as they are.'
*
'Well, how did it go with Claire?' asks Tod the next time he rolls off Alicia.
'Oh, she spent most of the time saying what a swine you were.'
'And I suppose you agreed with her?'
'Yes, of course ... By the way, why do they all call you Kitty?'
