Blue, Green, Red and Purple: Riposte
…When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter...
Betty Collins has written a sprightly riposte to Jenny Joseph’s oft-quoted lines.
Now that I am an old woman
It's too late to wear purple (who would notice?)
And being too fat hurts my back, and it isn't good
For diabetes and or heart: I am exceedingly glad
That when I had the chance
I drank whisky and brandy and gin by the gallon, and was sometimes
Pissed for days on end: and I guzzled chocolate,
And blue veined cheese and luscious tiramisu
And wine and crackers and double-creamed savoury dishes.
Sure. I paid my dues and fed my children:
And even had people to dinner -
But my blood ran red and hot and fast
Through my veins: and I drove cars
Fast!
And I took lovers: Who would ever want
(excuse me)
three pounds of sausages at one go?
Or bread and pickle for a week?
I shopped indecorously and prodigiously when I had the chance:
I bought saucy underwear and books:
Bikini panties and school uniforms: French perfume,
And chips and coke and green vegetables:
Contraceptives and cake. Black Label and cod liver oil.
I was a wonderful example for my children:
It did them the world of good to have a mother who was a little mad
And could waltz a big combi vehicle from side to side on gravelled
Country roads, singing : Waltzing Matilda, waltzing….
Now it is time to become invisible:
To chuck out all those hoarded pencils and beermats
And especially photographs -
Of course, you realise that all this applies
To some other old lady -
And not to me?
