Open Writing

People often remark on how well I handle my electric wheelchair. After years of practise I have become quite adept, but there are times when I crash into doorways because the openings are not wide enough. At other times I have to mount a kerb quickly to avoid traffic. If there's anyone around then they had better get out of my way fast. But so far I'vebeen lucky. and if there is anyone in the way, then they had better move fast. I’ve been lucky so far. I’ve never hit anyone in the street.

But in my house...well that’s a different matter. I’m always zooming around from room to room, and folk have to be pretty nifty on their toes to get out of my way. Talking of toes, when my mother came to see me a while ago I accidentally ran over her foot. She doesn't half hop well for an eighty year old! I was seriously embarrassed. Overcome with remorse. I simply didn't see her as she came out of the living room. I could see from the tears in her eyes that she was in pain. I quickly reversed my chair, but in doing so I somehow managed to run over her other foot.

Well if she wasn’t hopping mad the first time, she sure was when it happened again. She was trying to hop on both feet, with tears rolling down her cheeks. She was trying to hold her feet while in mid-air, and my daughter was endevouring to keep her upright.

There were also tears in my eyes. Tears of hilarity I'm afraid. I know I shouldn’t have laughed. It was involuntary, and I was deeply sorry and embarrassed. Darling mum forgave me, but now when I'm moving around she gets out of the way pretty sharpish. but it was an involuntary thing, as I was clearly embarrassed, but the wee darling forgave me and now if I’m around, she gets out of the way, pretty sharpish.

With regret I have to report that there isn't one person in my family whose feet I haven't run over at some time or other. Once my daughter called out to me as I was going down the hallway. I stopped then reversed to see what she wanted. Unfortunately my wife was behind me, leaning on her walking stick. I caught her toes, and the walking stick went flying.

Then there was the occasion when we were in a pub. I turned my chair quickly towards the table, preparatory to playing a game of bingo. Unfortunately the chair was on full power and it hit the table hard. A pint of lager emptied itself on my daughter Lesley's trousers. She cooled down a bit when I bought her another pint.

My mother now phones to tell me she is coming to visit us, so that I can pepare myself to be extra-careful.

Hey, if you see me out and about I'll always be glad to talk to you, but perhaps you hould approach me from the side.

And don’t forget to wear boots with steel toe-caps.

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