Family Of Four: 10 - Either A Nurse Or A Mother
...One day, he seized Doreen's eager hand and drew it gently, nearer and nearer to the hot bar, repeating that the fire was not just a pretty thing, but a hurtful thing, and one she must always leave alone. Then he held her little hand on the bar, just long enough for Doreen to feel the heat and pain, before withdrawing it, Mummy standing by in trepidation. This stern measure must have cost Daddy a pang or two, but it proved to be successful, for Doreen never again showed any desire to play with the fire...
Mrs Vivien Hirst recalls family discipline.
Mrs Hirst's memories of her childhood were gathered into a book by her nephew, Raymondf Prior, who listened to her stories with immense delight when he was a boy. To read earlier chapters please click on Family Of Four in the menu on this page.
Although so kind and gentle with his children Daddy had a firm idea of discipline, and a stern awareness of right and wrong. He never hesitated to correct and punish when he considered this necessary.
When Doreen was tiny the fire held a dangerous fascination for her, and although she was discouraged and reprimanded, her hand would stretch out in longing to catch the dancing flames. Daddy resolved that she must learn that pain was the result of playing with fire.
One day, he seized Doreen's eager hand and drew it gently, nearer and nearer to the hot bar, repeating that the fire was not just a pretty thing, but a hurtful thing, and one she must always leave alone. Then he held her little hand on the bar, just long enough for Doreen to feel the heat and pain, before withdrawing it, Mummy standing by in trepidation. This stern measure must have cost Daddy a pang or two, but it proved to be successful, for Doreen never again showed any desire to play with the fire.
I had a quick temper, and when very young on two or three occasions went into a tantrum. I vaguely remember lying on the nursery hearth rug and screaming and kicking with gusto; and vaguely, yes, but remembering, I was heartbroken because Daddy, whom I adored, had spanked me hard enough to hurt, and to cure, for although I was prone to fall into a temper I never again had a tantrum, and never received a second spanking.
Poor Rex was always in trouble. It was a commonplace to hear Daddy say to him "Go into the dining-room and I'll fetch my slipper!" We never heard any sound issue from Rex, only Daddy's raised voice and the dull thud of the slipper on Rex's behind. I think that the two were incompatible as Rex was all "Thomson".
I do not remember him doing anything outrageous. He did have a habit of coming home very late in the evening as a schoolboy, when he had been to visit a friend, and he would be met at the door with angry questions. This used to worry me a great deal and I often lay awake imagining all kinds of things happening to him, chiefly kidnapping!
Doreen was a serious, responsible small girl, I do not remember her in trouble, and Bobby only rarely. It is amusing to recall that Bobby committed some misdemeanour when he was a youth of seventeen, and he, in his turn, was ordered into the diningroom. On this occasion we heard no dull thuds, only silence, and after some time Daddy and Bobby emerged both looking a little sheepish!
When I judged it to be tactful, I ventured to ask Bobby what had happened. He was a little shy, but told me he had said to Daddy that he was now too old to be slippered, and that if Daddy attempted it he would be obliged to prevent him, to prove it. They had a man to man talk about this and were always the best of friends. That was the end of any physical chastisement in our home.
For a short period during the summer when I was six years old, I was expected to see Bobby off to bed when the nurse had her Sunday evening out. I never minded this. I was always rather motherly, and when asked what I was going to be invariably replied, "Either a nurse, or a mother!"
I was only two years older than Bobby but I felt older than that, for I was plump and sturdy, and he rather frail and thin. He really almost put himself to bed, washing instead of bathing with me fussing over dirty knees. When he was between the sheets I advanced with brush and comb. Carefully and patiently making a parting I brushed his fair hair vigorously.
Bobby endured this once, but on the next Sunday evening he very reasonably protested that it was no good having his hair brushed when it was all going to be ruffled up again! I was determined to have him shining and tidy when he was my responsibility, so I coaxed and bribed him. "If you will let me brush your hair, Bobby, I will dance for you," I said eagerly. This sounded interesting, and Bobby was always ready for a new experience or adventure, so he agreed.
I flew away to my room to undress and slip into my nightdress, because I was going to perform an Egyptian dance which required long clothes. With arms making sinuous movements, fingers firmly together and very straight, and body flowing, bending and rising, I gave a wonderful performance!
Bobby was delighted and clapped most enthusiastically, so that I was encouraged to greater speed and movement until, with Bobby laughing and still clapping, I subsided to the ground, glowing, breathless and happy. We both remembered these short dancing spells and looked back on them with amusement and pleasure.
