Open Features: The Maltese Luzzu
Don Hickman tells another delicious tall story.
(There may be a little invention - just a little - in Don's tale, but he really does own the Luzzu St John. To see a picture of it click on Gallery in the menu on this page).
To read more of Don's tall stories type his name in the search box on this page.
Giuseppe Loscano was born in his father's boatyard at Birzebbuga in Malta, the yard where generations of Loscanos had built wooden fishing boats to the detriment of the island's forests on Malta. Not all of the required wood grew on Malta. Oak, larch, greenheart and red pine were imported by the boatload from Sicily.
Seppe’s father specialized in building small boats, his favourite being the Luzzu. This multi-coloured craft is believed to be of Phoenician origin, but only the ‘eye’ of Horus depicted on the bow is a relic from those times. The boat's name has evolved down the centuries, from Ozzo, Uzzo to Guzzo. In 1905 a fisherman called Tal-luzzu was recorded as owning one - so Luzzu it became.
The Luzzu is a carvel-built double-ended open boat with the rudder hung on the stern by gudgeon and pintle. This versatile craft has been propelled over the years by oars, sails and engines. She's a good sea boat and nice to handle.
One day, as Seppe was working in the boatyard, a Major in the British Army came to purchase a Luzzu. In true Maltese fashion Giuseppe said, “You name the boat. We name the price.” A deal was settled and a name agreed. It was to be called St John, the Major's first name (pronounced Sin-jin). As part of the transaction the boat was to be shipped to England.
St John was constructed almost before the cheque had cleared the bank. Seppe's mother completed the painting and his father carved the name and a cockatrice or two on the mahogany sheer.
Now for the delivery.
Giuseppe had been twice married, firstly to Sliema who tragically drowned in a creek full of submarines, and then to Floriana. Everyman in Malta knew Floriana. Seppe decided to get away from the island for a while and deliver the Luzzu himself. He had heard that a vessel was about to depart Grand Harbour for England and after a few drinks with A.B Rafferty, the skipper of the Skomer, it was agreed to take Seppe and his boat as deck cargo as far as the Solent.
The Skomer sailed to Gibraltar, through the straits and out into the Atlantic. Past Lisbon, across the Bay of Biscay, and round Brest they went. At a mark off Cherbourg, Rafferty steered north in order to cross the English Channel. Having rounded the Nab Tower, the Warner buoy, and then Outer Spit where the Seagulls sit, Giuseppe was in the Solent.
Giuseppe Loscano had successfully completed his mission. The boat having been delivered to its new owner it was now time to return to his native island. But how to get home by train? The nearest railway station was Ryde St Johns but the ticket office there was not much help. They told Seppe to hop on the next train to Ryde Esplanade and ask at the information office.
“Malta,” said the man at Ryde Esplanade. “That’s an island in the Mediterranean. Ask at the Pier Head.”
There was one confused man on the trip to Ryde Pier Head, but at least he had not had to buy a ticket. At the Pier Head he asked if there was a boat to Malta. “Sorry mate we only go to Portsmiff. Ask at the Harbour,” the boatman said.
When they arrived at Portsmouth Harbour, the Station Master directed Giuseppe to the station at Portsmouth and Southsea. “If all else fails, ask at Waterloo,'' he was told.
Giuseppe had a satisfied smile on his face on the boat train from London to Dover. In his pocket was a document written in French, a request that the person in charge of French Railways, Paris, assist in the repatriation of the bearer, Giuseppe Loscano, to Malta.
On arrival at the Gare de Nord he was soon whisked away by private car to the Gare de Bercy station. Here he was given a first class seat to Venice. With luck, the people in Venice would know the way to get to Malta.
Seppe Loscano liked Venice, but the gondolas reminded him of the Dghajsa boats in Grand Harbour, Malta, making him homesick. He went back to the Santa Lucia station in Venice and found a train that was going south to Sicily. Now he was almost home. The mail boat Knight of Malta sailed from Syracuse in Sicily to Valleta. A ticket, £2 10s, and Malta was just eight hours away from Sicily.
On arrival in Valleta Seppe disembarked at the Customs House Steps. His two mothers-in-law were waiting there to meet him. All of a suden the Isle of Wight seemed a very attractive place.
Seppe shot back to the ferry booking office in Valetta and asked for a ticket to Ryde.
"Come on,'' said the chap in the ticket office. "Don't mess me about young Guiseppe. Do you want Ryde Pier Head, Ryde Esplanade or Ryde Saint Johns?”
