Here's Alison: New Zealand's Anti-Smacking Bill - March, 2007
Alison Ross's reaction to New Zealand's new anti-smacking bill was to write this robust poetic riposte to what she considers to be legislative folly.
I am a Bad Mother, I am I am
I smack my poor kids whenever I can
I won’t let them cheek me
They shan’t let me down
I won’t let them run wild
To graffiti the town
I am a Bad Mother, I am I am
I smack them whenever they tell an untruth
And I won’t have them tell yarns
That are totally uncouth.
I am a Bad Mother, I am I am
It’s strange but their teachers say they’re a real joy…
Hardworking, polite, both the girl and the boy
Their homework is done without any fuss
And never have I heard one of them cuss.
Oh I’m a Bad Mother I am I am
I smack my poor kids whenever I can
Do you suppose the reason
That Ms Bradford…( Sue)
Doesn’t look loving and kind
As most mothers do
Is the woman’s obsessed by political gain
Or has secrets so dark that she’s full of pain?
I am a Bad Mother, I am I am
But even the animals are free of the law
They punish their kids with a tooth or a paw,
Yes they chastise their kids
That’s what Mums are for.
So Susie my girl, sort out what you mean
Before us poor Mum's are criminally seen.
I am a Bad Mother I am I am
I smack my poor kids whenever I can
But I’m sorely puzzled
Don’t know what to do
Cause they’re growing up
Happy, honest and true
Their manners are lovely
They have respect for the law
How come they are like this
When their upbringings so poor?
Yes I’m a Bad Mother according to Sue
I’m sure to be charged with one crime or two
No longer do kiwis have any voice
Helen Clark’s party is forcing its choice
But our government’s head should surely be bowed
Here in the land of the Long White Cloud.
