Open Writing

Well, I go to church every week. Well, I don't go to church but . . .

Leading a life is a second-by-second activity. One never gets a break from it. Leading a spiritual life is the same. It is a 24 hours a day job for 365 days per year, every year. It can be a ball. It can be a drag. If it is the latter, it is not a spiritual life.

Forcing oneself to lead a spiritual life—and hating the effort—just won't work. It is a matter of priorities—God or materialism—of determining the reason for my existence. Before tackling that question, there is the important question of who I am. I have concluded after much searching that the real me is that invisible aspect of me called Soul, and that I exist because the Force which brought me into existence loved me enough to create me in ITS likeness. And loves me enough to give me an apprenticeship in god-ness with the promise that, when I complete my apprenticeship, I will be taken on as a permanent God-Helper.

My first task is to learn to put into practice my knowledge of who I am, i.e to practice my soul-ness rather than my body-ness. It can be compared with acknowledging that I am a human being—and then being asked which aspect I accent in my life—the human with all its frailities and weaknesses and difficulties—or the being with its unlimitedness, its possibilities, its wholeness.

Of course, I must work with the tools at my disposal—a body, a brain, a conscious mind and a sub-conscious mind, emotions, memories. And an ego. I must work out who or what is to be the master and who or what is to be the servant. If I opt for Soul to be the master, I may be assured that 'ego'—the little self—will object 24 hours a day, and will go to the grave objecting.

So, it is Soul versus the little self. Soul versus complacency, versus appetite for physical indulgences, versus every decision which treats body as 'that which must be obeyed'. It all sounds like one long, hard grind. And so it can be.

It is a rule of consciousness that what I concentrate on, I give my energy to. If I concentrate on my body, I energise my body and all its wants and desires and weaknesses.

If, however, I concentrate on Soul, I energise Soul and all ITS desire to serve out a good apprenticeship. As an apprentice, I have to use the tools at hand. With my mind, I can commit myself to the task in hand 24 hours a day. With my heart, I can love my tasks. With my body, I can lovingly carry out everything I do in the service of all those with whom I come into contact. Whatever I do, I do because I genuinely wish to do so.

I serve my fellow human beings because they are, without exception, my brethren, my fellow apprentices who, like me, are serving out their apprenticeships, some willingly, some unwillingly. The latter want me to join with them. In seeking to distract me from my grand goal of becoming a permanent God-Helper, they give me many opportunities to weaken in my resolve. They can be very persuasive, very tempting, very plausible, very persistent. My resolve is tested, time and again.

Every day, I dedicate myself to carrying out my apprenticeship. I use all sorts of ploys to remind myself that I am Soul. Every morning and every evening, and frequently during the day, I affirm who I am and what I am aiming to achieve. I dedicate what I am doing, no matter how trivial it is, to that Force, that God—that Creator—who brought me into existence.

And I am helped. Every time I act as Soul, I am strengthened. I see coincidences happening and learn to see them as synchronicities. I see opportunities all day, every day, to help me see life as an exciting apprenticeship in spiritual living, with masters at every turning just waiting for me to acknowledge them so that they can give me a helping hand.

What with being dragged in one direction and encouraged in the opposite direction, I can only live in trust that I am taking five steps forwards for every four steps backwards.

©Patrick Thomas