Open Writing

For the first time in farming history in this area an ‘Avian Flu controlled area’ sign has gone up at the end of our village. Twelve miles away the county has a case of Blue Tongue in a herd of cattle. Christmas dinner is looking a bit bleak. If things keep going along the same lines, the old pheasant that has stalked the wood opposite for years and has no idea he is in an avian controlled areas, had better look out. He might be tough, but I can brush up my broiling skills.

With that in mind and the thought that I might have to become inventive in my culinary expertise, I hunted out my Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management. It’s not a first edition (1861), but a ‘new, revised edition’ of 1869 and beautifully illustrated. I love it dearly, even though, having moved with me several times, it is getting a bit fragile.

Skipping the ‘what to do with turkey and chicken’ section, even though the curried dishes sounded very adaptable, I headed for the ‘Game’ chapter. Jugged Hare, subtitled by Mrs B as “very good”, or a similar version but “quicker and more economical”, caught my eye as I can still recall the taste of the delicious dish my mother-in-law used to concoct. Next came roast Landrail or Corn Crake – not sure there are too many of those about these days. Obviously Mrs B’s recipe was a hit back then! Broiled partridge sounded more like it as we have a whole family happily loitering in our garden most mornings, using the back fence as a perch before heading off to some recently sown field of winter wheat. Mrs B, bless her, also offered ideas for leftovers, (although I am not certain how much of a partridge is ever likely to be leftover, they are so tiny), such as potted or hashed?

Eventually I got to the broiled pheasant, ‘excellent for breakfast or luncheon’. Old Percy’s days could well be numbered, especially as the recipe was simple and Mrs B recommended serving it with mushroom sauce. Um, sounds good!

After that the recipes became a trifle wayward, ploughing on to Plovers, Ptarmigan, Snipe and Ortolans, the latter to be served on toast after being spit roasted in freshly gathered vine leaves. Seems that in Victorian times if it flew, staggered or crawled it was fair game.

Abandoning Mrs Beeton I had a look in a copy of 18th century recipes from Norfolk that I happen to have handy. Sure enough, there was a recipe for broiled cutlets which went along the lines of “cut the ribs of a racke of Muton asunder, flat them with a roling pin, shreed a little Time sweet marjerum Lemon peel grated bread salt and a little peper, season all over …boyle them quicke.” Spelling and punctuation courtesy of the Georgians.

By now I had become intoxicated by the thought of what was possible. I turned to ‘Cooking Delights, a collection of simple receipts for those who care to eat well’. It has a natty rhyme at the front offering sound advice. “Choice Viands (?) and a skilful Cook, invite the Puny – and the Capacious Appetite. Then let Politnss, joined to hunger haste And learn the Method how to Dine in Taste.” It told me exactly ‘how to cook an old bird with vegetables and how to serve “Fritot de Cervelles”, that’s brains in batter to you and me.

As a last fling I opened my reliable “Food through the Ages” pages and found the Romans did a nice line in dormice, stuffed with minced pork, pine-kernels and asafoetida (bitter taste and strong smell of garlic) roasted and served with a fish sauce. How the Romans loved their fish sauce, which I believe was made up of pounded and fermented tuna parts – and not the particularly nice parts either. At the other end of AD history, Lord Woolton’s pie (did he invent it or was it Lady W?) Minister for Food in the wartime Cabinet,1941-43, relied entirely on vegetables, vegetables and more vegetables with a wholemeal crust flavoured with sage. OK, I will think about that one.

So much to choose from leaves me wondering; whoever thought turkey was a good idea for the Christmas feast anyway? According to one of my books, it was Henry VIII. He is said to have been the first person to have dined on turkey on Christmas Day. Well bless his soul and cotton socks, what a trendsetter! Not only manages to frequently change wives, change our religion and lop a few heads off because he changed his mind, but spares the time to change the Christmas menu too.

And where did Henry get the idea of eating turkey from anyway? The bird had supposedly been introduced into Europe from South America by returning Conquistadors, who called it turkey because of its cry ‘turk-turk’. Do they go turk-turk? I always thought they gobbled. Sadly they will not be doing either around here this Christmas.