Open Writing

'Who are you?' I asked.

'I'm Jake,' he said.

'And what do you do, Jake?'

'I do impressions.'

'So you're an impressionist?'

'No, I'm a post impressionist.'

'Say again.'

'I'm a post impressionist.'

'And what the hell does that mean?'

'It means I do impressions of posts.'

'Aagh,' I moaned, kicking the seat in front of me.

'Let's take a break,' I said to Vernon, who was with me.
*
'Come on,' I said to Vernon after ten minutes 'let's resume.
'Yes, Mr Trigg,' said Vernon, 'let's resume.'
'Next,' I shouted. 'And who are you?'
'I'm Tommy,' she said. Tommy?'

'Yeah, short for Thomasina.'

'And what do you do, er, Tommy?'

'I'm a sit down comedian as opposed to a stand -'

'Yes, yes, I get the point. Please proceed.'

‘I can't.'

'Why not?'

'There's nowhere for me to sit down.'

*

After we'd seen a few more, Vernon said to me,
'And what's your line, Mr Trigg?'

I glared at him. 'I'm a ventriloquist, you dummy,' I snapped.