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Here's Alison: Bikini Clad

Alison Ross tells of a thoroughly modern grandmama. But surely a bikini would be a garment too far?

My Mother has become
A modern grandmama
I saw her down the beach today
In Shorts and Brassiere

I’ll hold in check my fears
The big ones, and the teeny
In case next year she ventures out
In polka dot Bikini!

I picture her Bikini clad
With one toe in the water
Oh granny dear, I greatly fear
That you shouldn’t oughter

Poor Dad would have a dreadful job
Keeping wolves at bay
As Bikini clad you ventured out
Along the beach each day

The beauty contest you would win
How the judges would applaud
The other girls would say, of course
‘She won first prize? Good lord!'

Yes a Bikini clad grandmama
Would no doubt be quite thrilling
But when they ask about her
What will I tell my children?

'Your grandmama,' they’ll say to me
'Wore lace collars round her throat
But ours wears brief Bikinis
And spends her time down at the tote'

Whatever shall I say to them
About their modern grand-mama?
Oh mother dear, no bikinis please
Just shorts and brassiere!

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