Bonzer Words!: None So Deaf As Those Who Will Not Hear
...Though the first time I flushed my toilet it made me jump. It is a moment I will remember, as it made me realize just how quiet my world had become...
Violet Apted tells how she determined not to be a victim of deafness.
Violet writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au
Insidiously, at first unnoticed, the sound of silence entered my life. Invisible fingers of unreality probed their way into my sub-consciousness.
'Why are you mumbling, when you talk to me?' (Your fault?)
'Turn the TV sound up.' (Old film?)
'Yes, of course I can see it is raining.' ('See' not 'hear'?)
'No, I never heard the phone ringing.' (Never rang?)
Denial, anger and resentment set in. (Refusal?)
'I'm not deaf! How dare you say I am deaf?' (Non-acceptance)
'Why is this happening to me?' (Despair)
Finally my fudged-up brain listens to the voice of reason echoing within. I need a hearing test! To prove there is nothing wrong with my hearing. (Still disbelief)
'You need two hearing aids.' The audiologist's words were loud and clear! My heart sank and tears filled my eyes.
'I am deaf!' (Reality strikes hard.)
'I won't wear hearing aids.' (Stupidity.)
'Maybe I should just try them? (Common sense.)
When my hearing aids were fitted, it was as if someone switched on my world. I could hear every word the audiologist said to me clearly. I could hear the phone ringing in the other room and the rain hitting the windows. I thanked him when I left the office, tears of joy in my eyes. (Thankfulness.)
Making my way home into my new world of sound, I knew I would never worry about having to wear hearing aids anymore. The difference it made for me was worth it. Differences like turning the TV down. Listening to the kettle boiling; the phone ringing and hearing someone knocking on my door.
Though the first time I flushed my toilet it made me jump. It is a moment I will remember, as it made me realize just how quiet my world had become.
My step is lighter! I wear a smile on my face! My confidence is restored. I can share a joke and listen to the chatter and laughter of my grandchildren. As a bonus I can switch on the sound of silence should I choose to do so, by removing the hearing aids. I did this when I was on a recent flight to USA. I shut out the noisy engines and all the passengers talking at once.
Yes! I am deaf! But I am no longer a victim of my deafness. I face every new day as a challenge determined to overcome any adversity. My life has taken on a whole new perspective. I have found new friends and the wonder of new understanding and caring.
© Violet Apted
