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Fast Fiction: Dropping In

Richard Mallinson’s story confirms that some visitors are never likely to receive a welcome.

‘There’s somebody here to see you,’ said Miranda.

‘Male or female?’ I asked, without looking up.

‘Oh, female. A bit over the top, if you ask me.’

‘Over the top?’

‘Yes, flashy in dress and manner. Tarty, I would say.’

‘I don’t know anybody like that,’ I lied.

‘What’s wrong with the little bitch?’ This was said after Miranda had left us alone in my office.

‘Nothing at all. She’s very efficient.’

‘Hm, I bet she is.’

‘Now, now,’ I said, ‘there’s no need for that. Anyway, what do you want? I told you to stay away from here, didn’t I? You’re not good for my image.’

‘Not good for your image! Christ, you do talk like a pompous twit. And to me, of all people.’

‘Well, you make me nervous,’ I said. ‘At least Miranda doesn’t know that you’re my ex-wife. She probably thinks –‘

‘What? What does she probably think? Come on, tell me.’

‘Well, that you’re on the game or something.’

‘What? Do I look as if I’m on the game?. . . No, don’t answer that.’

I poured her a large whisky and gave her a cigarette, which I lit for her.

‘Do you need money?’ I asked.

‘No. I just dropped in to see you. I didn’t come to beg. There’s nothing wrong with dropping in to see you, is there?’

‘Yes, there is,’ I said. ‘We could easily have met in a pub if you’d taken the trouble to ring me. I don’t like you coming here. You unsettle everybody.’

‘Everybody? How many of you are there, then, for god’s sake?’

‘Well, just Miranda and myself at the moment but – ‘

‘Oh, how cosy,’ she said, dropping her cigarette on the carpet.

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