Fast Fiction: Problem Solved
…‘But now we have a problem. A very serious problem.’…
The problem is that the company cannot sell the goods it is making. What is to be done?
Richard Mallinson tells a boardroom tale.
‘The problem facing us at the moment –‘
‘Oh, do shut up, Tristan. You’re always going on about problems.’
‘That’s very rude, Janine. I wish you wouldn’t talk like that in front of Stanley.’
‘Oh, Stanley doesn’t mind, do you Stanley?’
‘I think he does,’ said Angela. ‘He’s upset, aren’t you, Stanley?’
‘Now you’re the one who’s upsetting him,’ said old Vernon.
‘Be quiet everybody,’ said Stanley. ‘I have something to say.’
‘Yes, quiet everybody,’ said Tristan.
‘Since I took over this company,’ said Stanley. ‘I’ve received nothing but the fullest co-operation from each and every one of you.’
‘Hear, hear,’ somebody said.
‘But now we have a problem. A very serious problem.’
Some of them looked anxious. Old Vernon began to cry. Angela patted him on the arm.
‘The problem,’ said Stanley, ‘concerns sales. We are making all these goods but we just can’t sell them.’
‘Oh, god,’ exclaimed Janine. ‘I knew this was going to be a bad news day. I knew it in my bones. . . the moment Tristan started going on about –‘
‘What’s the bottom line then, Stanley?’ asked old Vernon, who’d stopped crying and now looked brave.
‘The bottom line?’ murmured Stanley, almost to himself.
‘Yes,’ said Angela, ‘what are we going to do?’
‘We?’ said Stanley vaguely.
‘Yes, all of us, together, as a team, as we’ve always been.’
‘I am afraid,’ said Stanley, ‘it’s too late to do anything.’
He looked sad but in bed a few weeks later he was quite perky.
‘Well, some good has come out of it, after all,’ he said.
‘It certainly has, my pet,’ murmured Angela, ‘it certainly has.’
