Open Writing

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No 1 Plant Phones

Since the process plant was spread out over about a square kilometre, it wasn’t easy for the foreman to get around. For example the tailings dump was about 600-700 meters distant from the offices. So often the foreman rang the particular section that he wanted to check on.

The phones for the process plant had an open system in that everyone could listen in on each other’s calls. Sort of like a party line. Now as mentioned previously, each section was called A1, A2, A3, or A4 and they each had their own extension number. So when the process operators answered the phone, they would merely say, “A1” or “A3” depending on what section they worked in.

While I was on shift for the first few months I was there, we thought we would have some fun just for the hell of it. We decided that when the operator in A1 answered the phone, he would say “A3” instead of “A1”. The operator in A3 would answer “A2” instead of “A3” and so on. You get the picture.

The phones weren’t too good as most of the time the line was so bad that you couldn’t tell who was on the line. So when the foreman phoned the A3 section, instead of getting A3 he would get “A2” and think he had dialled the wrong extension. The next time he rang we would answer “A4.”

In the end the poor guy would be going mad. That is until he realised we were having him on. Then he would get angry and threaten to kick our arses all the way over the bridge. Silly, I know, but it helped to pass the time. We did this trick to all the foremen eventually, until they all got wise.

The General Manager’s Phone Call

As far as I can tell this is all true and has now become legend in the annals of mining in the area.

Evidently the general manager was trying to get hold of the plant superintendent at No 1 process plant. As mentioned, the phone system at the time was archaic, and the lines were always pretty bad.

When the foreman or plant superintendent was not in his office, then they switched the phone through to the process plant so that if someone rang from outside the plant the plant operator could take the call. But then all the phones rang inside the plant. Since there were about five or six phones, they would all ring at once. This was a sure indication that someone was ringing from outside the plant.

One day the phones all rang, so we knew that it was a call coming from outside. Sometimes, just for the hell of it, we wouldn’t answer the phones just to upset whoever was phoning.

But this day, one operator finally answered the phone. Try and imagine the scene:

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

“Ya (Yes), hello.”

“Hello. I’m trying to get hold of S _. Is he there?” the manager asked.

“Who?”

“S _, the plant superintendent.”

“Haven’t seen him,” came the reply from the operator.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Don’t have a f------ clue.”

“If you see him, ask him to ring me right away.”

“That’s if I see him. But I might not see him.”

“Listen. I need to talk to him urgently. Go and find him and tell him he must ring me.”

“Sorry. I can’t do that,” said the operator.

“Why not?” the manager asked.

“I can’t leave this section unattended.”

By this time the general manager was getting p----- off with the guy on the other end of the phone.

“I’m ordering you to go and find him and to ring me right away.”

“F--- off.”

“What?”

“Don’t you understand plain English? F--- off.”

By now the manager was virtually tearing his hair out. Who the hell was this upstart?

“Do you know who you are talking to?” he shouted into the phone.

“No. Who?”

“I’m X_, the general manger.”

There was a few seconds silence.

“Do you know who you are talking to?” the operator asked.

“No I don’t.”

“Well thank f--- for that.”

And the line went dead.

They never did find out who had spoken to the manager, and we sure as hell weren’t telling.