Bonzer Words!: Old Folks Home
Ans Redelaar-Seinen brings a disturbing account of old age.
Ans writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au
I am on the sidewalk in front of my new Home when suddenly a skinny woman grabs my arm. In a very excited voice she says: ‘I don’t belong here, I am different, I am myself.’
In despair, she strikes herself on her breast and keeps repeating: ‘I am me, I am me.’
In as calm a voice as I can muster I answer: ‘Yes I know that. I know you are.’
Patting her arm softly I regard her more closely. She is wearing a wide pair of pants and a shirt that is two sizes too large. She is also not wearing any shoes. I point to her feet and say to her: ‘You forgot to put your shoes on . . . you will hurt your feet on the rough stones on this sidewalk. Let’s go and get your shoes.’
She regards her green socks thoughtfully and then answers me very decidedly: ‘No, I don’t belong here.’ She starts walking away from me towards a very busy city street that is nearby. This frightens me as I think she could be hit by a car or a streetcar, but I don’t know how to stop her.
By a lucky chance just at that moment I see Eva (whose job it is to watch the comings and goings at the reception desk at the Home). I beckon to her and point to the lady leaving on her socks.
Eva nods to me, but immediately starts petting a little dog that just at that moment comes out of the Home with an elderly lady. I am feeling very anxious and think: for heaven's sake why doesn’t she do something. But then she does, walks up to the poor soul, grabs her wrist tightly and says: ‘Come with me, it's time to eat our dinner.’
In the meantime I am rushing into the Home and heading for the elevator in order to be behind my closed door in my own private place. Sitting there I think for the umpteenth time in the past weeks: what am I doing here, for heavens sake?
We have yoga and classic concerts and discussion groups. This is all very nice for the people who, as the say here, still have a ‘good head’. (But for how long?)
And these nice activities are only for ten percent of the residents. The rest sit and stare with a vacuous gaze at the television for weeks on end: settled into this impressive historical building for the very elderly adjacent to the Vondelpark in Amsterdam.
© Ans Redelaar-Seinen
