Open Writing

Approaching Palmyra, we were set to drop off the Bedou and take on about 200 labourers from the town. It was a hectic occasion. Salutations and coffee completed, the Muktar told me that the candidates were waiting outside in the street.

'You mean, we examine them in the street?" I asked.

The Muktar was confident. "Yes. I will call their names and they will come forward one by one."

"They will not, you know. Allah is with the patient, but they will not be patient."

"I think they will," the Muktar replied, "They all want work."

That was the trouble. We opened the door and a murmur ran through the crowd. Accompanied by a large policeman, the two stars of the show, Mike and I, made our appearance before the appreciative audience. The moment that we stepped outside, the crowd broke ranks and rushed towards us. I just had time to see Mike step back very quickly inside the door, before I was engulfed by a seething mass of shouting Arabs. Some started to strip off their clothes in front of me, for their medicals, while those beyond, waving their arms to attract my attention, pushed forward in a frenzy until I was pinned helplessly against the wall.

Next to me, the policeman with his cap knocked over his eyes so that he could not see, was lashing out wildly and ferociously with his stick at everyone, me included. It was chaos. Then, with rugby-scrum elbows moving effectively, I forced my way slowly towards the door and burst in, with about six Arabs hanging onto my shirt. We arrived in a sprawling heap on the floor, with feet, legs, and arms all entangled and me at the bottom with half a shirt. Disentangling myself, I looked up to see Mike standing in safety, roaring with laughter.

"Hell, Johnny. You only needed a rugby ball in your arms and it would have been the most spectacular try of all times."

I was starting to recover myself on hands and knees when, amidst all the shouts, the policeman hurtled in through the open door, tripped over one of the Arabs who had nearly regained his feet, crashed on top of me, squashing me flat, and in doing so, grabbed two of the other Arabs in an attempt to save himself, dragging them down on top of me as well. Once more, I found myself at the bottom of the heap.

I thought Mike was going to blow up with laughter when I disentangled myself for the second time and regained my feet but, alas, not my dignity, wearing only half a shirt.

After the minor riot had subsided, and having drunk more coffee, the Muktar was determined to organise the whole event — he was, after all, the Muktar of Palmyra; he was the most important person in the town; the authority on all matters; the fountain of wisdom and sagacity; the one revered by all — or so the Muktar, himself, thought. Who was I to disillusion him? I let him carry on as, filled with enthusiasm, he charged ahead like a camel in the rutting season. He marshalled his forces by calling for the full complement of the police force to report to him at once. When they both turned up, the Muktar rearranged the candidates in a long line, out in the street in front of us. The two policemen, with long sticks used effectively, speeded up the military manoeuvre.

The Muktar turned to us with a smile of satisfaction on his face, and invited
us to start the medical inspections at the right hand end of the line, where all his favourites were placed. Even as we walked in that direction, the others on the left hand end of the line broke ranks and charged over to the right. On completion of this additional military movement, the Muktar's favourites had now been pushed and shoved so that they were on the left of the line; so we moved towards the left, whereupon the mad rush repeated itself.

Mike turned to me, "Johnny, for God's sake, I can't examine them in the street. They can't strip outside, in the open."

I approached the Muktar, and after he had finished yelling at the two policemen for not controlling the crowd, which had doubled in number as the word spread, I managed to have his attention.

"I think it would be better,Sir, if we inspected them in the room, and you call them in by name, one by one. The two policemen could then stand at the door, with their big sticks. What do you think?" He agreed. Thus did we complete the task.