Open Writing

My great grandfather came to this country, Indonesia, from a small province in China. He married my great grandmother, a native Balinese woman. Their different religions (my great grandfather was a Buddhist, and great grandmother was a Hindu) and different cultures (Chinese and Balinese/Indonesian) made them learn to respect each other even better. They were known as traditional charcoal makers in the village.

According to the story, my great grandmother was such a strong woman, and she was able to do things men could do, like taking her cow to the paddy fields to help her plough (that’s why she and her children did not eat beef at all. To them, it was not fair to eat beef while they used the energy of the animals to help them produce rice for them to eat). She also went to the bush to find woods of which she and my great grandfather made the charcoal. They were blessed with several children that she gave birth to. My great grandfather chose to live in Bali all his life, and never returned to China.

My western pen/e-mail friends often ask me whether I feel safe to live in this country where Islam is in the majority, while Buddhism (the faith I have been holding since I was 10) is a minority (only about 2% out of total population of 250 million people).

I can understand why they ask me that question. They worry about me concerning the chaos that happened in 1998. Frankly, until then I had always thought that the country where I was born 50 years ago was the only country in which I liked to live best. One thing that made my family and me so 'tightly' attached to Indonesia may have been the food. When we went abroad for some time, we would soon miss our 'sayur asam', 'lodeh', 'satay', 'sambal' etc. (Our food is a mixture of traditional Indonesian, Indian and Chinese cuisine. It is similar to Thai food—spicy but mild, not as strong as Indian).

The chaos that happened so brutally here made me ask myself, Do I still like to live here while so many Indonesian-Chinese people were looted, raped, killed, and lost their houses and resources? And that many churches and some Buddhist Temples were burned or destroyed?

Of course, I was upset to see that. I was also scared to continue living here. Other than that, I was worried about my children and their safety. Who would know what would happen in the future. It could be better or even worse!

It just saddened me to know that most of the people who were said to get involved in the chaos were Muslims, while I also knew that they may have been lay Muslims who just did the harm without even knowing what they were doing. I believe, like any other religions in the world, Islam never encourages violence, but spreads love. Some wonderful Muslim friends of mine were sorry about the brutality, and they showed their concern about the safety of my family and me. That was enough to help me know that true Muslims are those who have compassion in their hearts, and that they respect differences. They did not agree with violence either. And only the people like my wonderful Muslim friends would make the minorities like Christians or Buddhists feel really accepted and comfortable here.

My e-mail friends in the west asked me not to lose contact with them, so I always tried to get on the net everyday and reported to them what was happening here in my country, and my area especially. Most of them told me to quickly leave Indonesia and offered me and my family to stay with them before we could find another place to settle down. Frankly, we didn’t know what to do, but we felt so loved. In that confusion, my family and I did not go anywhere. We would stick together in Indonesia no matter what happened. At least that has been our decision although people may think that Indonesia is not a safe place anymore because of the bomb blasts that happened a few times recently.

Somehow I still like living here. It may be the food that makes me still attached to this country! I was born here, have lived here, and would like to die here also, like my Chinese great grandfather did.

© 2006 Connie Herawati Lilie