Open Writing

I' Sent John's Gospil ther's two tales abaht 'ah Jesus capped fowk bi showin' respect fer women. I' them days, tha knaws, women wer' kept i' the'r place, an't' religious leaders could 'ardly bring thersens ter speyk tul 'em. Yet 'ere's Jesus talkin' tul 'em i' public — loose women, an' all...

One day Jesus an't' disciples wer' on the'r way thru Galilee ter Jerewsalem, an' the' come to a place called Sychar, i' t' middle o' Samaria. Jesus wor worn aht wi' all that walkin', so 'e sat 'issen dahn bi Jacob's well theeare an' rested, while t' disciples went off ter buy summat fer the'r meal.

After a while a woman came ter draw some watter from t' well. Jesus said to 'er:
'Will-ta gi'e me a sup o' watter, lass?'

T woman wor reight shocked at this. 'Ah'm capped at thee.' sh' said. 'Tha's a Jeew, an' Ah'm a Samaritan. It's brazen enough fer a man ter speyk to a woman — but fer a Jeew ter beg a sup from a Samaritan — Why! We've 'ad nowt ter do wi' one another fer centuries!'

'If tha knew 'oo it is who's axing thee fer a sup,' says Jesus, 'Tha'd ax 'im — an' 'e'd gi'e thi livin watter.'

'Nay. Tha's nut even got a bucket ter let dahn inter t' well!,' sh' says. 'It wor ahr ancester, Jacob, 'at gev us this well — Does-ta set thissen above 'im?'

'If tha sups this watter tha'll bi thirsty ageean,' says Jesus. 'This watter o' mine 'll spring up an' bring eternal life.'

'Well, then,' says t' woman. 'Gi'e me a sup o' thy watter, then Ah s'll niwer bi thirsty ageean!'

'Go an' bring thi 'usband,' says Jesus.

'Nay ... Ah've no 'usband,' says t' woman.

'Ah should think tha 'asn't!' says Jesus. 'Tha's been wed ter five 'usbands — an't' feller tha's got nah isn't wed ter thi!'

(T' woman wor reight put aht bi this. T' fact is, sh' wor as leet-gi'en as a posser-'eead.)

'Oh, Ah can see tha's a prophet,' says t' woman, puzzled 'at 'ah Jesus could knaw all this. 'Us Samaritans worship on this mahntin 'ere — but you Jeews say wi owt ter worship i' Jerewsalem.'

T time's comin'', says Jesus, 'when fowk'll worship nawther 'ere ner i' Jerewsalem ... T' place doesn't matter. What matters is ter worship trewly, wi' all thi 'eart an' sowl.'

'When t' Messiah comes,' says t' woman, "E'll mak it all plain.'

'That's 'oo's talkin' ter thi', says Jesus.

Just then t' disciples came back wi't' food. The' wer' reight capped ter see 'im talkin' to a woman — an' a Samaritan at that. But the' dursn't say owt.

T' woman went off an' telled iwerybody sh' met: 'This chap knaws all 'at iwer Ah did! Can 'e bi t' Messiah?'

Well, that monny Samaritans came aht ter see Jesus 'at 'e stayed theeare two days, afooare settin' off ageean fer Jerewsalem.

A bit later on, when Jesus wor i' Jerewsalem, 'e wor sittin' dahn in t' Temple preychin' to a gurt crahd a fowk. Suddenly ther' wor a big commotion. Some Scribes an' Pharisees wer' draggin' in a woman. The' browt 'er i' front o' Jesus an' said, reight prahd o' thersens:

'Nah, then, maister! We've just caught this 'ere woman committin' adultery! Sh' wor agate wi' it when wi got theeare — copped i' t' middle on it! Nah, it says in t' Law o' Moses 'at a woman like this should bi stooaned ter deeath. What does-ta say abaht that?'

Jesus 'ad stood up when e'd seen 'em comin', but nah 'e bent dahn an' reckoned ter write wi' 'is finger on t' sandy fleg-stooanes. So t' Scribes an't' Pharisees started on at 'im ageean, tryin' ter catch 'im aht, tha sees, i' front of all those fowk.

Jesus stood up streight ageean, then said:
'All reight, then. Carry aht t' Law o' Moses. Stooane 'er ter deeath. But just one thing ... Let t' first stooane bi thrawn bi one on yer 'at's committed no sin!'

Well, the' looked at one another, then, reight shame-faced, off the' went, one bi one, startin' wi't' owdest on 'em.

T woman wor still standin' theeare. So Jesus says:
'Wheeare've the' gone, then? Is ther' nob'dy left ter condemn thi?'

'No, sir', says t' woman.

'Ner me nawther', says Jesus. 'Off tha goes, lass. But, think on! Dooan't thee sin ageean!'