Ee By Gum Lord!: T'Feedin' o' t' Five Thahsand
Arnold Kellett, in his native Broad Yorkshire, tells the story of the feeding of the five thousand.
To purchase a copy of Arnold's much-loved book Ee By Gum, Lord! please click on http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ee+By+Gum%2C+Lord%21&x=10&y=23
Iwerybody's 'eard tell o' t' feedin' o' t' five thahsand. Ther's some say 'at t' real merricle wor 'at Jesus gat all these fowk ter share among thersens t' food the'd browt wi' 'em — a bit like one o' them faith teeas, tha sees. (Though i' my experience ther's oft mooare faith ner teea at a do like that!). Well, that's nut what it says i' t' Gospils — an't' same tale is in all fower on 'em, an' all. So 'ere's what 'appened accooardin' ter Matthew, Mark, Lewk an' John.
One day Jesus an't' disciples wer' that moithered wi't' jooarum o' fowk the' couldn't even finnd t' time fer a bite an' a sup. If the' didn't do summat abaht it the'd sooin be reight knocked up.
'Sither, lads', said Jesus. 'Wi mun get away from all these fowk, an' go somewheeare fer a bit o' peace an' quiet, an' tak it easy fer a while.'
So the' gat into a booat, an' sailed away along t' shooare o' t' Sea o' Galilee, makkin' fer a nice spot the' knew, wheeare the' thowt the'd bi aht o' t' rooad o' t' crahds. But t' trouble wo', t' fowk kept the'r een on t' booat, an' started runnin' along t' lakeside, keepin' up wi' 'em, tha sees.
Well, the' landed somewheeare near Bethsaida, 'oping ther'd 'ave a bit of a rest from t' crahds theeare. But all t' fowk wer' waitin' fer 'em. Ther' wor thahsands on 'em — men, women an' childer. But instead o' bein' annoyed wi' 'em Jesus said ter t' disciples:
'Ee dear! These poor fowk are same as a flock o' sheep — baht a shepherd'.
An' 'e gat agate teychin' 'em ageean, an' curin' all sooarts of ailments.
When t' disciples saw t' sun gettin' lower an' lower in t' sky the' said ter Jesus:
'Lord! It'll sooin bi dark. Wi mun send these fowk away. We'r miles from onnywheeare. Thell 'ave ter go ter t' farms an't' villages an' buy thersens summat to eyt.'
'No', replied Jesus. 'These fowk 'ave follered mi fer three days nah. Ah can't just send 'em away. Give 'em some food yersens.'
'Nay, Lord,' said t' disciples. 'It 'ould cost endless o' brass ter feed this lot — even ter give 'em a little bit apiece.'
'What food is ther' then?' axed Jesus.
It wor Andrew, t' brutther o' Peter, 'oo spok up an' said:
'Well, Lord. Ther's a little lad 'ere wi' five looaves o' barley bread, an' a couple o' fish.'
Jesus then telled t' disciples ter get all t' fowk ter sit thersens dahn on't' grass — 'cos it wor nice an' green just theeare — an' arrange thersens i' rows o' fifties an' 'undreds. Then 'e took these 'ere looaves, looked up an' gev thanks, then brok 'em i' pieces an' gev 'em ter t' disciples ter tak rahnd ter t' fowk sittin' on t' grass. Then 'e did t' same wi't two fish — an't' Gospils say 'at iwerybody 'ad the'r fill — all five thahsand on 'em. What's mooare, at-after, t' disciples sammed up all 'at wor left ower — an' ther' wer' twelve baskets full o' bits of bread an' fish. Nah then!
Well, that's what t' Gospils say — an' tha can tak it or leave it. But dooan't thee tell me it wor nobbut a faith tea!
