Open Writing

Naming a baby requires more thoughtfulness than is first apparent. Traditional naming patterns based on the names of the child’s grandparents provide assistance to the new parents in some cultures. This is true in Italy. A couple's first son is given the name of the father's father; the first daughter is given the name of the father's mother.

The second son is given the name of the mother's father; the second daughter is given the name of the mother's mother. Successive children are given their parents' names, or the names of favorite or unmarried or deceased aunts and uncles. Polish children may be named for one of their godparents, in the Ukraine the priest often chooses the name of a saint for the baby, and Jewish children are traditionally named for one of their ancestors. Sometimes the choice is not made by the parents or they are not even consulted. Many of these traditions have gone astray in 21st century America.

Sadly, in the 1990s, the trend in naming turned toward giving babies more unusual names. Names are created by using strange spelling techniques that only result in a child always having to repeat or spell their name. Or a child can be named after something else like a fruit. Why would parents name a beautiful baby girl Apple? Does this name age with the child? How does a girl named Bambi or Honey mature with self-respect? Some names may be given thoughtlessly in a sad attempt at humor. A couple with the surname of Bottom is reported to have named their unsuspecting twins Harry and Rosie. What were they thinking?

As I began to study family history, I regretted being oblivious to family names when we chose the name of our daughter, Michelle Marie. As many young couples do, we chose a name we thought was unique, lyrical, and sounded impressive with our surname. When she was born several years later, the name we had chosen had lost our hoped for individuality in the overwhelming popularity of the Beatles beautiful song, Michelle. In 1966, Michelle was the 3rd most popular name for baby girls. But we still liked the name. Any ethnic traditions were lost in time and distance, and not considered.

Recently, as I researched the French-Canadian branch of my ancestry, I began to learn more of this history and noticed some of their first names. This part of my heritage is not a new revelation, but somehow it has been taken for granted. I did not relate this history with myself. I did not understand the history of these courageous pioneers. But working through the genealogical vital statistics available on the University of Montreal website, I began to realize that we had inadvertently selected a truly traditional name for our daughter. Most of the females in our French-Canadian ancestry were named Marie, either as the first or middle name. Many of the males also had Marie as part of their name. Of the 400,000 individuals baptized prior to 1800 in Quebec, more that 145,000 had Marie as part of the name. Our first female ancestor to arrive in either Canada or the United States was named Marie Remy. Leaving France in about 1665, she was one of the Filles du Roi (Daughters of the King) who received a dowry to bravely begin a new life in a new and very dangerous land.

In 1967, we took our daughter to a tiny church in northern New York where a French-Canadian priest reveled in pronouncing her name when he baptized her. The Irish surname seemed to fall flat by comparison, but the intersection of these names is an appropriate tribute to my father’s family, and my husband’s family. Our choice was always the right one and is now our inspiration to learn more about traditions that our family has lost through neglect and time.

Tradition does not mean that the living are dead,
it means that the dead are living. - Harold MacMillan

© Sandra Maroney