Open Writing

It’s here, we’ve got it. A small group of school girls, who had enjoyed an overseas exchange in Mexico, boarded a plane in Los Angeles and were obviously not very well.

“Cough, snuffle, sneeze.”

As we all know air is recirculated in aircraft, so each droplet of the ‘flu virus wanders around for all to breath in. Not really much you can do about that is there?

However, on board the plane, the captain radioed ahead to inform the authorities that swine ‘flu was a possibility. What to do? Well to most of us the obvious thing would seem to be to land the plane, park it somewhere out of the way and bring in the medics to set up some kind of quarantine. But wait a minute, this would cost money and that plane might need to be elsewhere soon. They don’t keep planes on the ground for very long these days. So what happened?

In they all came, the whole Jumbo lot. They wandered through the long corridors, holding on to the handrails of the moving walkways, they browsed around duty free, they coughed and sneezed over the customs officials, they collected trolleys for luggage, moved through baggage control and out into the New Zealand sunshine to pick up hire cars or campervans or throw their arms around waiting friends and relatives.

The school children were rounded up, given tests to be sent off to labs and sent home for “home isolation.” What! To infect mum, dad and baby brother.

But what of the rest. I don’t know about you, but every time I have been on a plane, before disembarking I have been required to fill in a form stating where I have been and where I will be while in New Zealand, or which ever country I happen to be visiting, and where I can be contacted while in the country. It is very simple really, but somehow most of the Jumbo jet passengers seemed to vanish into thin air and the authorities were desperately trying to track them down. In this age of computers and with all these little forms we fill in and passport numbers, what is the big problem, especially if you have been forewarned?

Panic, panic, panic. Most of us with half a grain of sense would have kept the folk on the plane until some suitable isolation place could be set up to keep folk in quarantine until they were sure they were nice and healthy and then sent them on their merry way with some sort of compensation for their inconvenience. But, no, this did not happen and the country went onto alert.

I needed to pay a visit to my doctor the other day. Beside the door, on a table, stood a bottle of sterile hand wash and a stack of masks. Big notices said, “If you have ‘flu symptoms tell the receptionist at once.” Inside all the soft comfy chairs had been replaced by hard plastic ones and those lovely magazines, which most of us can’t afford to buy, were missing, instead the walls were covered with notices about ‘flu. I wouldn’t care but I had already had my ‘flu jab but was told it wouldn’t work and “we’re all doomed.” The doctor stood well back from me until he realised that it was my usual chest problem and a few antibiotics plus a go on the nebulizer would sort things out. However I have been told that all pharmacies and surgeries have been issued with gowns and the sort of breathing apparatus used in contaminated areas. Roll on 1984, no that’s gone.

So what happened? Nothing. The children who were in home isolation are now back at school. Two did have swine ‘flu and were put in hospital but are now fine. As for the other passengers, who knows? They are certainly not lying sick in hospital beds, surrounded by folk who look as though they came from outer space. So all is well for now in NZ.

But Swine ‘flu has finally arrived, as we knew it would. With world travel, bugs will wander around as will the nasty viruses which mutate. There is nothing we can do about it except exercise commonsense, certainly not resort to mass hysteria. Wash your hands, use tissues and dispose of them and don’t spread your germs around.

The government has changed its tactics. We can’t keep it out so how do we deal with it? We are told to have plenty of food and fluids and the usual ‘flu remedies in the house and the average healthy individual can expect to feel ill for about ten days. We are told not to visit the doc but to give him a ring and he/she will advise us on what to do and if necessary whisk us off to hospital. We are told to stay away from crowds, not go to work if we feel ill and to keep as fit as we can. In short, what did your mum used to do? She would rub your chest withVicks, make you nice hot drinks of Ribena or lemon and honey, tuck you up in bed with a good book and tell you to go to sleep.

“Flu has been around since mankind decided to live in groups and over the last few years Asian flu and Bird ‘flu have been stirred up by the media. Yes, ‘flu is bad. It can kill you, as it did millions of weakened men and women after the First World War. It will make invalids and old folk very sick and some will die. But for the average fit individual, who has the commonsense to stay at home and not go around spreading his germs about, playing the martyr, a couple of weeks under the duvet, nice and warm, with lots of hot drinks and homemade soup and maybe a few hot toddies, laced liberally with whisky, lemon and honey, should get you through, as you read trashy novels, listen to your favourite music and doze off to sleep.

I don’t underestimate the seriousness of ‘flu, but let’s take the finger off the panic button. Take things easy, keep fit and enjoy the odd hot toddy at night, “purely for medicinal purposes.” There will be another brand of ‘flu round next year as sure as eggs are eggs.

So on that optimistic note I will leave you and go and make some more soup for the freezer, just in case.