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Ee By Gum Lord!: What 'appened on t' Third Day

Writing in his native Yorkshire dialect Arnold Kellett recounts the events which followed the crucifixion of Jesus.

To purchase a copy of Arnold's much-loved dialect version of the Gospel stories please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ee+By+Gum%2C+Lord%21&x=10&y=23

Standin' bi t' cross wer't' disciples — an' all t' women 'at 'ad come wi' 'em thru t north. The' wer' all on 'em brokken up wi' grief — an' nooan on 'em mooare ner Mary, Jesus mutther, 'oo wor bein' comforted bi young John.

T' women wer' watchin' ter see what 'ould 'appen ter t' body o' Jesus, 'cos t' Romans mooastly chucked t' bodies into a pit — an't' women wanted ter gi'e Jesus a deeacent burial.

Well, a strange thing 'appened. One o' t' Jeewish leaders — a big cahncil man called Joseph of Arimathaea — went ter Pilate to ax permission ter tak t' body an' bury it in 'is awn tomb.

Pilate didn't agree to it streight away. Fust 'e sent fer t' centewrion 'at 'ad been t' owerseer o' t' crewcifixion. 'E axed 'im a few questions — mainly ter mak certain 'at Jesus wor deead. Then 'e telled Joseph 'at 'e could tak t' body.

So Joseph an' a mate of 'is called Nicodemus came an' lapped Jesus body in a sheet o' neew linen, an' then took it away — follered bi t' women-fowk.

Near t' place o' crewcifixion, ther' wor a gardin — an' that's wheeare Joseph, 'oo wor reight well-off, 'ad just 'ad a tomb cut aht o' t' rock, ready fer when 'is awn time came, tha sees. I' this neew tomb the' ligged t' body o' Jesus, an' across t' entrance the' rowled a gurt rahnd stooane — same as a mill-stooane — which wor t' Jeewish way o' closin' a tomb ter protect t' bodies.

The' nobbut got it done i' t' nick o' time. T' Jeewish law said 'at on t' Sabbath — an' it allus starts on a Frida neet — nob'dy 'ad ter 'ave owt ter do wi' fewnerals, or even visit a cemetery. So off went Joseph an' Nicodemus — an' so did t' women, thankful ter knaw wheeare Jesus wor buried.

Well, at fust leet o' dawn on t' Sunda morn' — 'cos that wor t' end o' t' Sabbath — t' women-fowk wer' on the'r way back ter t' tomb. The' wer' 'uggin spices an' that, ready ter put on t' body o' Jesus — 'cos that wor t' Jeewish custom, tha sees, an' these 'ere faithful women wanted ter do t' job reight.

'Ee, what abaht yon gurt stooane?,' the' wer' sayin' ter one another. 'Will wi 'ave t' strength ter rowl it away?'

When the' reached t' tomb the' got a reight shock. T stooane 'ad been rowled ter one side — an't' tomb wor wide 'oppen!

The' plucked up courage an' went in. Sittin' on t' reight-'and side wor a young man dressed i' white — some on 'em later said it wor an angil.

'Dooan't bi afeeared!' says this young man. 'Ah knaw y're lookin' fer Jesus o' Nazareth 'oo wor crewcified. Yer'll nooan finnd 'im 'ere. 'E's been raised ter life ageean! Sither — this is t' place wheeare 'is body lay ... Nah yer mun go an' tell t' disciples — an' above all Peter — 'at 'e'll bi back i' Galilee, an' that yer'll see 'im theeare just as 'e said!'

T' women ran aht o' yond tomb flaid ter deeath!

At fust the' dursn't tell a sowl what the'd seen an' 'eeard. Then the' telled Peter — an' streight away 'e set off wi' John, t' two on 'em runnin' as fast 'as if the' wer' in a race.

As John wor younger ner Peter 'e ran faster, an' arrived at t' tomb fust. 'E looked through t' entrance — but wor too flaid ter go in. Peter came pantin' up, an' went streight in. T' tomb wor empty — save fer t' grave-clooase, liggin' theeare just wheeare t' body 'ad been.

Well t' neews went rahnd among t' disciples like wild-fire. Some on 'em — Thomas fer one — simply wouldn't believe 'at Jesus 'ad risen.

T' women 'ad got it all wrong, the' said ... An' then ther' wor this tale abaht t' sodgers watchin' ower t' tomb. T' preeasts an't' Pharisees 'ad gone ter Pilate an' telled 'im at t' disciples 'ould try ter steal t' body. So 'e'd let 'em 'ave a guard ter keep watch. An't' sodgers 'ad run away, scared aht o' the'r wits 'cos the'd seen a breet shinin' angil — so the' said — come an' rowl away t' stooane ... an' nah t' sodgers 'ad been paid a lot o' brass ter put it abaht at t' disciples 'ad ta'en t' body when the' wer' dozin' off...

But strangest tale of all is telled bi Sent John. 'E says 'at when Mary Magdalene went ter t' tomb, sh' nooaticed a shadowy sooart o' figure, 'oo said to 'er:
'Why art-ta weepin', lass? What is it tha's lookin' fo'?'

Thinkin' it wor t' chap in charge o' t' gardin, Mary says: 'The've ta'en away t' body o' Jesus. If tha knaws wheeare 'e is, do tell mi!'

'Mary!' says this voice — an' streight away Mary knew it wor Jesus.

'Oh, maister!' sh' says, an' tries ter touch 'im — but Jesus tells 'er sh' may nut touch 'im yet, but sh' mun go an' tell t' disciples ...

Then ther's another strange tale telled bi Sent Lewk. Later on t' same day — this Sunda — two o' t' friends o' Jesus wer' walkin' back 'ooam from Jerewsalem to a village called Emmaus — abaht seven mile away. The' wer' agate talkin', goin' ower all t' terrible things 'at 'ad 'appened, when the' nooaticed a stranger walkin' alongside 'em.

'What's up?' axed t' stranger. 'You two lads look fair 'eart-sluffened.'

One on 'em, 'oo wor called Cleopas, answered 'im:
'Aye, wi are that. An' if it caps thi, tha mun bi t' only man i' Jerewsalem 'at doesn't knaw what's 'appened.'

'An' what's that?,' axed t' stranger.

'Why! What the've done ter Jesus o' Nazareth, t' famous prophet. Sewerly tha's 'eeard 'ah t' chief preeasts an' t' elders 'anded 'im ower ter t' Romans an' got 'im crewcified! T' reason we'r so upset is wi thowt 'at Jesus wor t' one 'at 'ould set Israel free ... It wor last Frida it 'appened. But strangely enough, this mornin', when t' women went ter t' tomb, the' couldn't finnd Jesus body — an' the' said 'at an angil 'ad telled 'em 'e wor alive ageean ... Peter an' John went an' fahnd t' tomb empty, all reight — but the' niwer saw Jesus ... Ah reckon it's nobbut a tale.'

The' wer' booath ta'en aback when t' stranger says tul 'em:
'Nay! Yer daft, unbelievin' pair! Yer think this can't 'a been t' Messiah, 'cos 'e wor put ter deeath! But t' prophets telled us t' Messiah 'ould suffer like this afooare enterin' inter glooary.'

An' then 'e started goin' through all t' passages o' Scripture 'at talked abaht t' Sufferin' Servant o' God.

When the' got ter t' village, t' stranger seeamed as if 'e wanted ter go further.
'Tha's welcome ter stay wi' us', the' said. 'It'll be dark afooare long — so come thi ways in!'

Well, t' three on 'em sat thersens dahn ter supper — an' this stranger picked up t' looaf, said a prayer, then brok it i' pieces an' passed it tul 'em — an' as 'e did so it suddenly dawned on 'em 'oo 'e wor. It wor Jesus 'issen!

An' no sooiner 'ad they awned 'im than 'e seeamed ter fade away an' vanish — like a sooart o' vision.

Off the' went, back ter Jerewsalem, walkin' t' seven mile all ower ageean, but that excited the' thowt nowt abaht it.

The' went streight ter t' disciples an' telled 'em all 'at 'ad 'appened ... An' afooare long Peter, Thomas, an' all t' disciples, 'ad this experience o' seein' Jesus — even when the' went back ter Galilee.

In fact, t' last words o' Jesus wer' spokken i' Galilee, an' the' wer' these:
'Go to all t' nations o' t' world ter finnd disciples, an' baptise fowk i' t' name o' t' Fatther, t' Son an't' Holy Sperrit. Learn 'em all 'at yer've learned from me — an' think on! Ah s'll allus bi wi' my disciples — reight until t' end o' time.'


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