Open Writing

In the first confusing days of grief, shock and relief at the death of her ex-husband, Neil, Susan discovered that from the moment she left him, ten years earlier, he had told their friends a gigantic lie about her and her new love, David. It held enough truth to be plausible. Both Susan and David were outraged by the enormity of Neil’s lie. It explained why several of Susan’s friends had suddenly cut communications at the time of her divorce from Neil.

Two years later, Susan was made aware of the lie again. She was chatting quietly with an old friend, Doris, about the strange twists of life. The conversation veered to the nastiness some people could commit. Doris said, “Wendy told me that you and David started having an affair nineteen years earlier and that it continued all the time you and Neil were married. What rubbish! I know you and it wasn’t the sort of thing you’d do, how could she believe it? I haven’t bothered to speak to Wendy since then…”

Susan was grateful for Doris’s support. She was upset by the news that Wendy had chosen to believe the lie and to try to persuade other friends to do so. It was a betrayal of years of friendship.

After this conversation, anger welled up in Susan at the oddest times, about the lie and aimed at Neil, a dead man. Her anger was irrational and fed on itself so that she became angry at herself for being angry.

“David and I’ve been married ten glorious years. We’re so happy together, but here I am, crying over one of Neil’s stupid lies. He’s haunting me, that’s what it is, the horrid man!” Angrily, she brushed tears from her cheeks. “How could anyone who knew me believe that I would have a nineteen-year affair? That would be so stupid when divorce is acceptable and relatively easy!” She had met David through a mutual friend only shortly before leaving and divorcing Neil.

“I’m not entirely innocent,” she reflected, the knot of anger unravelling slightly. “But,” she hastened to assure herself, “I’m not the scarlet woman Neil tried to paint me. And of course, the affair with David was naughty, completely justified – and rather stressful – though entirely enjoyable, too!” She grinned at the memories.

She reasoned with herself at her desk at work, in the supermarket and in the car. She soon realised it wasn’t the lie itself that worried her. “No, the lie was to be expected! It was just like Neil to lash out like that. My anger with Neil is like a habit, we were angry with each other so often before I left him…” she paused. “It‘s the other people, those I thought were my close friends, who chose to believe the lie instead of believing in me. They dropped me like hot-cakes, with no explanation, no thought of hearing my side of the story... it’s their betrayal that hurts so badly. …anyone who behaves like that wasn’t a true friend. Besides,” she gave a wry chuckle and concluded with a grin, “I may not be a scarlet woman, but I’m not Snow White, either!”

Another thought struck her a few hours later. “So many wonderful people remained my friends, and I have the most wonderful husband in the world! How many people can say that?”

As she walked into the office block, she was humming. She thought, “Of course, I can’t actually forget any of it… nasty words leave scars that go far deeper than the flesh. But then, I certainly said my share of harmful words to Neil, too…No, I’ll learn from it, live and love and enjoy my life from now on.”

*****

Neil’s ‘great lie’ about Susan and David not only angered them, it tore apart many long-standing friendships. The harm it caused rippled outwards like an earthquake, changing the lives of everyone it touched.

Our words and the way we say them will affect the lives of many people, not necessarily only the people they are ‘aimed at’. It is best to think before we open our mouths to speak in anger.

By Isabel Bradley © Copyright Reserved