Sandy's Say: Overdrive
Sandy James offers a first-class high-speed tip to ladies looking for a man. Don’t spend your money on clothes and grooming. Buy yourself… Ah, do read on to find out what.
Ladies, are you on the lookout for a man?
Let me say here, in case my husband is reading this, that I, categorically, am not looking but with age comes wisdom and I have learnt a few tricks along the way. Allow me to impart some of my recently found knowledge. It may save you a great deal of time and guide you in a new direction when it comes to spending your money. It has to do with cars and, in particular, what you drive.
We are a two car family and normally I get to drive the no-frills, take stuff to the dump, put the dog in the back Toyota. I acknowledge that it is not a glamorous vehicle but it has a big enough boot to fit in several reeking cricket bags and just enough seat and leg space for four sweaty, hairy, schoolboy cricketers. I was content with my transport and, until recently, never gave it another thought.
Then everything changed. We moved to a house near the station and my husband started catching the train to work. Overnight I was promoted to driving the luxurious, shiny Lexus. It was a whole new world with the leather seats, rosewood steering wheel and a music system which had tones and volume reminiscent of the Sydney Opera House. I hardly had to touch the accelerator as the car glided effortlessly along, seemingly of its own accord. It automatically went in the fast lane and overtook anything and everything with ease. It was particularly good on switchbacks. Somehow they seemed to lurch more than before.
But then the fun ended abruptly. My husband took the car back and started driving in to work again for he and I had both observed the same phenomenon. Wherever I went in this dream car, men would chat me up. It seemed to have absolutely no bearing on what I was wearing or how I looked. Even if I snuck out in the early morning, ungroomed and in my track suit, to buy bread or fill up with petrol, I would be approached by gentlemen wanting to simply banter or ostensibly discuss the merits of the car. Clearly my wedding ring was an insufficient deterrent. It all hinged on the car. Apparently when I drive my jalopy instead of the Lexus, I don’t even rate a second glance.
So, this is my tip, ladies. If you are looking for a man, forget about spending your money on smart clothes, or having your hair and nails done. Don’t bother staying slim or sharpening your intellect or wit. Don’t join a golf club or go out to the local pub.
Just buy yourself a posh car and fill it up as often as you can.
