Open Writing

RE-ENTER BLACK BART

Towards dusk on a fine spring afternoon, there was a series of sharp raps on the door of Skye’s lodge. The unusual cadences triggered Skye to full alert – she recognized them as the signature knock of a visiting master dragon.

“I’ll take it,” Sapphire called to Skye and Woodward, who were seated on a sofa drinking mugs of tea.

Sapphire flung open the door and her eyes narrowed. Her mouth thinned and the magnificent eyelashes blinked twice as she recognized her ex – Black Bart, who had abandoned her.

“Er, I feel I should know you? No matter, I’m looking for a rather dishy female dragon, Swanfire by name. Have you seen her lately?”

Sapphire stepped closer to him and inhaled sharply. Her nostrils closed down. “You’ve been eating roadkill and you stink,” she told him.

“Fair go, Miss,” Bart said. “It was just a light roadside snack going to waste. I’m on my own and have nobody to look after me. Food is food, whatever.”

The eyelashes blinked again. “What happened to that cockroach bitch you flew off with?”

Bart turned his head to one side, and peeked at her through his dominant right eye. “How did you know about that?”

“Swanfire told me all about it. She thought it had broken her heart.”

Sapphire sensed the presence of Skye and Woodward listening over her shoulder.

“Fortunately, through her breeding, class and merit, she has two great and powerful friends – the lady witch Skye you see behind me, and her elf friend, Woodward, lord of the southern forests.”

Bart nodded politely to Woodward and Skye.

“I must have been out of my mind to fly off from Sapphire. She was a beautiful dragon, lovely nature. The truth is I adored her. Going off like that was the worst mistake of my life.”

“What happened?” said Sapphire.

“I learnt that the new dragon – I can’t bear to speak her name - had acquired a love potion from the witch in the wood, Skye’s sister. She slipped it to me unawares and I was ensorcelled.”

“What about your feelings for Sapphire?”

“The potion transferred them to the new dragon. I was thoroughly confused for several weeks but I’m over it now. I didn’t want that new dragon. I was perfectly happy with Sapphire.”

“You never thought about calling, or sending a letter, or apologizing?” said Sapphire.

“Lady, whoever you are, I would have groveled at her feet. I’m most miserable about it and would do anything to win her back.”

Sapphire blushed and looked round to Skye, eyes lowered.

“You really would do anything?” said Skye.

“Lady, you name it, I’ll do it, wretched worm that I am without her.”

“As a dragon, Swanfire is lost to you forever. The only way you could reclaim her would be firstly with her consent.” Skye looked at Sapphire who gave an imperceptible little nod of approval.

“Yes, yes,” said Bart. “What next?”

“You’d have to take some acidophilus yoghurt to get rid of that killer breath, as a preliminary.”

“Yes, yes, then what?” said Bart.

“And then you’d have to find a beautiful, good natured witch who just happens to know a transformational spell or two,” Skye said modestly.

“I’m looking at one right now,” said Bart. “Please, pretty please,” he said.

“Will that do, or do you want him to grovel?” Skye asked Sapphire.

“It’s okay, that’ll do,” said Sapphire.

“Well then, Black Bart, are you prepared to say goodbye to your dragonhood and take the form of a handsome human?”

“If I can get Sapphire back, of course,” said Bart. “It would be no sacrifice. I’d rather have Kentucky fried than roadkill any day.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” sniffed Sapphire.

She turned to Skye: “Brown eyes, brown curly hair, tall, good legs, a six pack and a body like a Greek god. Can do?”

“Can do,” said Skye. She reached behind the door for an aerosol can marked ‘transformation spray – use once for three seconds, then repeat briefly every fourth week at the change of the moon.”

She sprayed Bart over his head and neck, shoulders, his belly and his private parts underneath his tail.

“Careful,” cautioned Sapphire.

“No worries,” said Skye. “The family jewels have to make the change, too.”

No sooner had she spoken, than a handsome young man emerged from the cloud of spray. He looked magnificent and in the prime of health.

“Bart, you bastard,” said Sapphire. “I was always going to be your meal ticket to a better life.”

The new Bart looked at her astonished. “Swanfire?”

“Sapphire, now,” she said. “Get down on your knees and beg my forgiveness until I tell you when to stop. A hundred times will do.”

Bart fell to his knees and raised his hands to her, palm up, in a touching gesture of supplication. “Sapphire, light of my life, jewel of my heart, I beg your forgiveness.”

“Oh, that will do,” said Sapphire. “Just behave yourself from now on and take it easy on the fast food.”

“I think this calls for a little celebration,” said Woodward, watching with amusement from the door, his arm round Skye’s shoulders.

The two ex-dragons looked at him. “Celebration?” they said together.

“He means a drink,” said Skye. “He always has a glass of wine about this time of day – before his tea. It’s a wood-elf thing.”

Woodward poured four glasses of Goundrey’s unwooded chardonnay.

They all clinked glasses. “Cheers, dears,” said Skye.

“Your very good elf,” said Woodward.

Skye punched him playfully on the arm. “Stop it,” she said. “What’s for tea?”

“I think I can rustle up a chili con carne, with a light salad, followed by some stewed fruit and berry yoghurt,” said Woodward.

“What’ll we drink?” said Sapphire.

Woodward and Skye looked at each other. Woodward nodded. “Naked owl, merlot of course,” said Skye. “Goes well with chili con carne.”